salto mortale

Thursday, September 09, 2004

BILLIONAIRE$

richie rich!Time to check in with those intrepid defenders of privilege, the Billionaires for Bush:

Call us hopeless romantics, but we're still walking on air from last week's Republican National Convention. Never before was there a a more glorious convergence of power, privilege, and money. And never before did the Billionaires, unsung heros of the class war, shine so brightly. "A billion points of light!" exclaimed an awestruck George H.W. Bush.

The champagne corks were already popping as our Limo Tour arrived from the midwest in a stretch Humvee Saturday night, plowing over the rank bodies of scruffy justice-loving freaks gathering to heap scorn upon our Grand Old Party. "How's that for free speech?" roared Limo Captain Monet Oliver d'Place with a joyful tear rolling down his right cheek. "By God, it's good to be home!"

Billionaires gathered bright and early on Sunday for a delightful morning of croquet, bandminton, and other lawn sports in Central Park. The unsightly rabble-rousers were nowhere to be seen, thanks to fellow billionaire Mayor Bloomberg's ban on protests int he Park. As City officials explained, the grass was too expensive for the feet of mere commoners.

By midday hundreds of Billionaires representing over 30 states had gathered in front of the Plaza Hotel to kick off the Million Billionaire March. We proceded down 5th Ave, guarded by paramilitary escorts from the NYPD, provoking jeers, guffaws, and waves of class envy amongst the 500,000 anti-Bush marchers as we stole their media spotlight...


Go take a look.



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