No, I don't get it either.

But we shall still mock.

Listen, I'll agree that most sports are total bullshit. I've got a little soft spot in my heart for basketball (my dad took me to games) and the Green Bay Packers (I'm from Wisconsin, it's mandatory), but that's it, and you won't see me defending sports in any way whatsoever. It's a guilty pleasure that's more about spending two minutes with the sports page once in a blue moon than actually watching television or visiting the stadium.* But there's bullshit and bullshit. A movie about a dead NASCAR guy? Let's be frank: tens of millions of red-state retards will be glued to their sets.

Just look at him. How inspiring. Nice 'stache, pornstar. He'd fit right in the Castro.

In '83!

MUAH-HAH-HAAH-HAAAAA!

...That's a bit uncouth and inelegant, even for me. But we've got an honesty-only policy at Salto that I intend to uphold by any means necessary.

*Soccer is excluded. Soccer rules.