[L]et me congratulate the scientific team at Birmingham University in England, whose researches have led them to the thesis that acne may be a kind of evolutionary contraceptive. In mimicking the symptoms of illness, the scientists speculate, pimples might form a sexual no-go zone that prevents humans from reproducing before they are physically and psychologically ready for it.

Zits as a Darwinian cold shower: It is a theory that many teenagers will find immediately convincing.