At this point, I believe this
is not a joke.
An 18-year-old US student is today behind bars after police uncovered his plot to raise a zombie army and attack his high school. The wannabe Papa Doc Duvalier's chilling plan was uncovered after the youth's grandparents discovered his written proposal for the outrage in Winchester, Kentucky, lex18.com reports.Alert the Grammar Police.
Mercifully, William Poole was cuffed before he could execute his macabre scheme. He faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge after investigators discovered "materials at Poole's home that outline possible acts of violence aimed at students, teachers, and police".
Naturally, the fledgling Baron Samedi has claimed that the writings were nothing more than a short story he penned for his English class. He said: "My story is based on fiction. It's a fake story. I made it up. I've been working on one of my short stories, [and] the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies."
"It didn't mention nobody who lives in Clark County, didn't mention [George Rogers Clark High School], didn't mention no principal or cops, nothing. Half the people at high school know me. They know I'm not that stupid, that crazy."
Despite his protestations, the authorities have wisely decided to cage the miscreant youth. Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill noted: "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky."
Accordingly, a judge last week reflected the seriousness of threatening your high school with annihilation at the hands of the undead by raising Poole's bond from one to five thousand dollars at the request of prosecutors. He is currently reflecting on his folly in the Clark County Detention Center.
The same story, without the excess of (justified) British snark, is here