[If you find this at all useful, please leave a comment below and tell me where you're from and who you're most looking forward to seeing.]
The reason I am writing this is that there are definite things you can do to make your Coachella experience better.
We made all the mistakes you can make at Coachella '04 and survived. Barely.
The problem was that we really didn't know what we were getting into. '04 presented the perfect storm of concert evil: hellishly, hellishly hot weather, a sold-out show (for Radiohead and the Pixies), which in this case means about a hundred thousand people, and, because it was our first year, we didn't make meeting plans before people started drifting off.
If you're in a hurry, I think Tip #7 below is the most important I can possibly give you.
THE HEAT
In '04, it was about 103 when we entered the concert sometime after noon. It peaked at 106 later in the afternoon. This is hot. '05 was better, somewhere in the comparatively chilly upper nineties, at least on Saturday, if I recall correctly.
There is a huge difference between outside temperatures of 96 degrees and 106 degrees. That ten-degree span is the difference between pleasure and death. I drank ten, twelve bottles of water when it was 106 outside -- and I didn't pee once. In like ten hours. The desert air just leeches the moisture out of you when it's that hot.
Hope for the best but plan for the worst. The forecast at this point is for a high of
Tip #1: They don't let you bring water into the festival grounds.* So don't bring more than a bottle to drink as you wait in line. You'll end up having to throw it away. Instead, leave a cooler with ice and water in your car. That post-concert water will be very, very tasty later. You'll be parched. You're welcome.
*I'm sure the Goldenvoice people have their reasons for this. And it's fine if it's 90 outside. But if it's over 100, it's deeply, deeply unethical and rather troubling to take water away from people as they come in.
Tip #2: Refill your empty water bottle at water fountains inside the grounds. Buying water over and over is unnecessary and can get spendy.
The desert sun is huge and powerful and could own you if you don't take steps.
Tip #3: Don't forget your hat and sunscreen. The best hat to wear is something that blocks a ton of sun and also breathes.
These straw hats have become absolutely required for Coachella regulars in our group:
If it's a cool year, as seems likely at this point, the desert gets cold at night. It can drop into the fifties. As it is forecasted to do on Saturday night, for example. Last year I remember being quite cold in the last hour or so of the concert. It wasn't fun. Thus:
Tip #4: You may want to bring a lightweight sweatshirt or jacket for the last hour or two of the show. It'll be a gigantic pain to carry around, it's true, but sneaky people might be able to find places to stash stuff if you're not all that worried about someone nabbing it. I'll leave it up to your imagination.
THE GROUNDS AND PARKING
Finding your car in past years was really difficult. There weren't enough identifying markers to tell you where you were -- and those parking lots are very, very large. They were better about marking stuff last year, using giant numbered balloons to indicate the different lots. Still:
Tip #5: Take your time when leaving your car to figure out exactly where you are. You'll be jazzed and probably in a hurry to get in. Don't rush. Make sure everyone in your party knows at least which lot the car is in. Andy took digital pictures of the view from the car in '04; that helped us tremendously. All we had to do was to line up the trees, and voila! If no digital camera is handy, look for landmarky trees to help guide you in the dark. Also, if you have a keyless remote for your car, make liberal use of the "panic" button to help find that sucker.
The Coachella grounds are huge and you end up walking a lot as you make your way from concert to concert. Good shoes are important.
Tip #6: Don't wear sandals or flip-flops. Wear comfy sneakers. With the heat, you'll be tempted to bust out sandals for coolness. While you won't die if you do, I'd advise against it. Walking and standing take their toll on your feet and ankles. Especially if you're old, like me, you'll want some support. I'm planning on styling my old, dependable New Balances for max comfort.
GROUP COMMUNICATION AND MEETUPS
In '04, we lost Eric almost immediately. He wandered off. He had no cellphone. There were 100,000 people spread out over acres and acres of land and he was gone. We made no arrangements to meet at any central point. The next time we saw him was ten hours later at the car. We worried about him. And it sucked.
Tip #7: The very first thing you do when you get to the grounds must be to establish a default group meeting point. We tend to pick something centrally located and impossible to forget -- the chandelier, it was, last year (a big piece of weird art right in the middle of things). It's unlikely that the people you're with will want to see the exact same shows you'll want to see. Before you do anything, before people wander away, pick a spot for people to hang out between shows. Make general plans to meet fifteen minutes before a show that everyone will want to go to: for example, for us, this year, I expect that'll be bands like Animal Collective, the Go! Team, and Wolf Parade, among others (I'm super-psyched for Daft Punk).
Tip #8: Bring your cellphones and your chargers. Oh, '04 was miserable. 100,000 people trying to find their friends fried the local cell towers. You couldn't get a signal to save your life. Phones actually worked in '05, and unless Madonna packs the joint this year, I expect it to be the same way this year. Chargers are necessary because you'll kill your battery sending fifty or sixty texts a day keeping track of people and such. You can also recharge your phone (and check your email!) inside the grounds, if necessary, at the R&R tent. See here for details.
THINGS TO BRING
A handy list to consult. Later items optional.
Tip #9: In order of importance.
- Your Coachella ticket.
Cash for food and water (ATMs available on the grounds, though).
Sunscreen and a hat that blocks lots of suns and breathes.
A charged cellphone.
Sunglasses.
Comfy shoes.
Earplugs.
A small backpack or messenger bag to put all of your crap in, including extra water bottles.
A stashable light jacket or sweater.
SPF Chapstick.
Eyedrops of some sort (it gets dusty out there).
Camera.
Appropriate ID if you want to drink.
Ibuprofen.
Extra fun for nice people you meet.
Condoms.
Okay. By popular request:
Tip #10: On Smuggling Stuff In. Expect a cursory check of your bag. Be discreet and you'll be fine. If you have more questions, think about erring on the side of "discreet."
Another request. And oh boy it's good.
Tip #11: From the Coachella message board.
Maybe dance slower?
WHAT HAPPEN IF SOMEONE MAKES A CRIMEMy advice is to avoid being stabbed with AIDS needles. As best you can.
I HEARING SOMETIME THAT IN AMERICAN THINGS OCCUR LIKE MAYBE A GUYS WITH NEEDLES WITH AIDS ON THE NEEDLES STAB PPL WHILE THEY DANCING SO FAST. I WOULD HATE TO GET A NEEDLE WITH AIDS STABBING ME SO PLZ NO ONE PLZ STAB ME WITH AIDS NEEDLES.
Maybe dance slower?
I'll add to this guide if anyone has anything else useful. Feel free to drop me a dollar in PayPal (link at right) if you feel the love.
Thanks to psychic girl, papertiger05, tainTTed, and soc for helpful comments and stolen ideas.
