Happy Halloween!

The right loves when the swarthies are commanding our armed forces.

They love it.

[via Cuz]

Probably NSFW.

But goddamnit, it should be.

I'm swamped and won't be blogging for a couple of days.

Funny Cat Thursday and NSFW Friday are on hiatus until next week.

In the meantime, enjoy this clip!

Chuck Norris takes the "Chuck Norris Fact" and spins the joke in a completely different direction:

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: “There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.” It’s funny. It’s cute. But here’s what I really think about the theory of evolution: It’s not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.

[...]

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: “Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.”

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.

If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris’ tears, it’s Jesus’ blood.

It's the start of a new internet phenomenon!

• Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding."  But there is a real person from whom Waldo is hiding, and his name is Jesus Christ.
• Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building."  But there is a real person who can contain that level of awesome, and his name is Jesus Christ.
• Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer."  But there is a real person who is the number two leading cause of death in the United States, and his name is Jesus Christ.
  
• Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it."  But there is a real person who eats whole strippers, and his name is Jesus Christ.
  

Nothing like the threat of lifesaving medical research to bring out the worst in Republicans.

Disgusting: Rush falsely accuses of Michael J. Fox of not taking his medication to make his tremors seem worse.

Creepy: This response ad.  Just creepy all over.  Low budget, and apparently filmed in a variety of alleys and bathrooms.  I don't know what's more creepy, Jesus Caviezel at the beginning of the ad, or Jesus Caviezel at the end of the ad.  Christ, I get the shakes just thinking about it.

Stupid: In the same ad, noted medical researcher, Kurt Warner, argues that because California has spent billions of dollars on stem cell research and has not yet cured any disease, no further money should be spent.  Hard to argue with that logic.  I bet all those cancer and AIDS researchers feel like schmucks.

Background here.

--AZ-Sen: Jon Kyl

--AZ-01: Rick Renzi

--AZ-05: J.D. Hayworth

--CA-04: John Doolittle

--CA-11: Richard Pombo

--CA-50: Brian Bilbray

--CO-04: Marilyn Musgrave

--CO-05: Doug Lamborn

--CO-07: Rick O'Donnell

--CT-04: Christopher Shays

--FL-13: Vernon Buchanan

--FL-16: Joe Negron

--FL-22: Clay Shaw

--ID-01: Bill Sali

--IL-06: Peter Roskam

--IL-10: Mark Kirk

--IL-14: Dennis Hastert

--IN-02: Chris Chocola

--IN-08: John Hostettler

--IA-01: Mike Whalen

--KS-02: Jim Ryun

--KY-03: Anne Northup

--KY-04: Geoff Davis

--MD-Sen: Michael Steele

--MN-01: Gil Gutknecht

--MN-06: Michele Bachmann

--MO-Sen: Jim Talent

--MT-Sen: Conrad Burns

--NV-03: Jon Porter

--NH-02: Charlie Bass

--NJ-07: Mike Ferguson

--NM-01: Heather Wilson

--NY-03: Peter King

--NY-20: John Sweeney

--NY-26: Tom Reynolds

--NY-29: Randy Kuhl

--NC-08: Robin Hayes

--NC-11: Charles Taylor

--OH-01: Steve Chabot

--OH-02: Jean Schmidt

--OH-15: Deborah Pryce

--OH-18: Joy Padgett

--PA-04: Melissa Hart

--PA-07: Curt Weldon

--PA-08: Mike Fitzpatrick

--PA-10: Don Sherwood

--RI-Sen: Lincoln Chafee

--TN-Sen: Bob Corker

--VA-Sen: George Allen

--VA-10: Frank Wolf

--WA-Sen: Mike McGavick

--WA-08: Dave Reichert

Here.

This makes me angry. Obviously.

Previous editions here and here.

NYT:

TACOMA, Wash. (AP) -- A man accused of having sex with the family dog has been charged under the state's new animal cruelty law, which makes bestiality a felony, a prosecutor said.

Michael Patrick McPhail, 26, of nearby Spanaway, pleaded not guilty Thursday to one count of first-degree animal cruelty in Pierce County Superior Court.

Assistant Pierce County Prosecutor Karen Watson said McPhail was the first person in Pierce County to be charged with the new bestiality offense.

...

McPhail's wife told investigators that she found her husband on their back porch Wednesday night having intercourse with their 4-year-old female pit bull terrier, the Pierce County sheriff's office report said. The dog was squealing and crying, according to charging papers.

The woman took photos with her cell phone and called the sheriff's office.

...

The bestiality law, which took effect in June, was prompted by a case near Enumclaw in which a Seattle man died after having sex with a horse. Before the law was enacted, Washington was one of 14 states where bestiality had not been explicitly prohibited.

[ via The Legal Reader ]

RNC Chair Ken Mehlman* is starting to look like that robot-costume from Total Recall, just before it exploded.



Ken, bubele: get some sleep. Or something.

Some crazy Republican wants to give students old textbooks they can use to protect themselves from gunfire.

Bill Crozier, a Union City Republican going against incumbent Democrat Sandy Garrett, said he believes old textbooks could be used to stop bullets shot from weapons wielded by school intruders. If elected, he said he would put thick used textbooks under every desk for students to use in self-defense.

I've got an idea.  Why don't we give our students new textbooks, so they can protect themselves from becoming crazy Republicans?

Three years.

This January?  (Scroll down, second from the bottom.)

Made $400,000 at the box office.  Stunning.

My last aborted fetus made more than that, and that's after his agent's cut!  And my cut as his manager.  But then he had to pay his assistants and various hangers on, made a few questionable investments.  Frankly, he pissed it all away.

Storytime with Flavor Flav:



BONUS NSFW FRIDAY!

O.J. Simpson is writing a book in which he "hypothetically" confesses to the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman:

[O.J. describes] in gruesome detail the killing of his ex-wife and Goldman; he stipulates that the murder scenes are “hypothetical.” But...the descriptions are “so detailed and so chillingly realistic” that readers are left with little doubt as to what really happened.

The book is tentatively titled "If I Did It."

Heh.

Toe-sucking whoremonger Dick Morris:

The Gallup poll of Oct. 6-8 shows that, in the wake of the Foley scandal, the number of “white frequent churchgoers” who are planning to vote Republican has dropped from 58 percent to 47 percent since last month. The margin of their support for Republicans over Democrats, 26 percentage points in September, has entirely disappeared and the parties are tied among this core element of the Republican base.

...

Churchgoing whites are the core of the Republican base. The fact that they are now breaking even in the approaching midterm elections foretells total disaster for the GOP. For this group to leave is, quite literally, the political equivalent of the last dog dying! It is now likely that they will lose both houses of Congress.

Thank you Jesus!

Keith Olbermann tells it like it is.

Powerful stuff.

It's funny watching our favorite tard blog, "Alarming News," suddenly find music, "tidbits," and InStyle-type celebrity gossip really, really interesting.

Assholes.

There's still a decent chance that the anti-fascist blogworld will have it's own Senator in a couple of weeks.

We are winning.

MORE: It's an unfamiliar feeling, reading stuff like this -- it's so pathetic.

The Worst Congress Ever:

There is very little that sums up the record of the U.S. Congress in the Bush years better than a half-mad boy-addict put in charge of a federal commission on child exploitation. After all, if a hairy-necked, raincoat-clad freak like Rep. Mark Foley can get himself named co-chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, one can only wonder: What the hell else is going on in the corridors of Capitol Hill these days?

These past six years were more than just the most shameful, corrupt and incompetent period in the history of the American legislative branch. These were the years when the U.S. parliament became a historical punch line, a political obscenity on par with the court of Nero or Caligula -- a stable of thieves and perverts who committed crimes rolling out of bed in the morning and did their very best to turn the mighty American empire into a debt-laden, despotic backwater, a Burkina Faso with cable.

...

"The 109th Congress is so bad that it makes you wonder if democracy is a failed experiment," says Jonathan Turley, a noted constitutional scholar and the Shapiro Professor of Public Interest Law at George Washington Law School. "I think that if the Framers went to Capitol Hill today, it would shake their confidence in the system they created. Congress has become an exercise of raw power with no principles -- and in that environment corruption has flourished. The Republicans in Congress decided from the outset that their future would be inextricably tied to George Bush and his policies. It has become this sad session of members sitting down and drinking Kool-Aid delivered by Karl Rove. Congress became a mere extension of the White House."

The end result is a Congress that has hijacked the national treasury, frantically ceded power to the executive, and sold off the federal government in a private auction. It all happened before our very eyes.

Let's hope the tide finally turns this November.

You can't have any vacuum unless we say so:

President Bush has signed a new National Space Policy that rejects future arms-control agreements that might limit U.S. flexibility in space and asserts a right to deny access to space to anyone "hostile to U.S. interests."

If only we could stop furriners from even looking at our space...

Ooh:

One patient in 1994, listed as Marie Y., said after being administered nitrous oxide she "felt Phipps's hand go underneath the dental bib to give her breast a sudden squeeze or caress, putting his hand completely over it; he squeezed her right breast three times and her left breast once."

Context here. Confession: it's not all that interesting.

And here is what the other side has to say:



Loathsome.

[via Sullivan]

I didn't know Santorum was a Tolkien fan:

Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) explains the Iraq war by citing Lord of the Rings: “As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else,” Santorum told a newspaper editorial board. “It’s being drawn to Iraq and it’s not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don’t want the Eye to come back here to the United States.”

Workers of the world unite!

Now, as Wal-Mart rolls out a new round of workplace restrictions, employees at a Wal-Mart Super Center in Hialeah Gardens, Fla., are taking matters into their own hands. On Oct. 16, workers on the morning shift walked out in protest against the new policies and rallied outside the store, shouting "We want justice" and criticizing the company's recent policies as "inhuman." Workers said the number of participants was about 200, or nearly all of the people on the shift.

It's the first time that Wal-Mart has faced a worker-led revolt of such scale, according to both employees and the company. Just as surprising, the company quickly said it would change at least one of the practices that had sparked the protest. Late in the day on Oct. 16, there was some disagreement over which of the new policies would be put on hold.

SCHEDULE CHANGES. The protest wasn't led by any union group. Rather, it was instigated by two department managers, Guillermo Vasquez and Rosie Larosa. The department managers were not affected directly by the changes, but they felt that the company had gone too far with certain new policies. Among them were moves to cut the hours of full-time employees from 40 hours a week to 32 hours, along with a corresponding cut in wages, and to compel workers to be available for shifts around the clock.

In addition, the shifts would be decided not by managers, but by a computer at company headquarters. Employees could find themselves working 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. one week and noon to 9 p.m. the next. "So workers cannot pick up their children after school everyday, and part-timers cannot keep another job because they can be called to work anytime," says Vasquez.

In addition to scheduling changes and reduction in hours, workers are now required to call an 800 number when they are sick. "If we are at an emergency room and spend the night in a hospital and cannot call the number, they won't respect that," says Larosa, who has worked at the store for six years. "It will be counted as an unexcused absence."

... The scheduling changes, which have been rolled out in Wal-Mart stores around the country in recent weeks, are a sign that the retailer is acting on ideas outlined in an internal document that was leaked last year. In the memo, a Wal-Mart executive said it would find ways to rid its payroll of full-time and unhealthy employees who are more expensive for the company to retain.

Wal-Mart executives have recently told Wall Street analysts that the company wants to transform its workforce from 20% part-time to 40%. Recently, it was also reported that older employees in some stores who had back and leg problems were barred from using stools on which they had sat for years (see BusinessWeek.com, 8/14/06, "The Flip Side of Wal-Mart's Pay Hikes").

Like McDonald's, Wal-Mart will close a location before letting a union in the store, so this probably won't go far. But it's nice to see the occasional small victory.

Mayor Newsom has a hot new girlfriend. She is a 20 year old registered Republican.

She lies on her Myspace page and claims to be 26 years old.

It is shit like this that ensures that Newsom will never be a big time politician on the national level. Although a 20 year old girl like that might be worth it...

[ via Steve Gilliard ]

You are cordially invited to cry a river of tears for Borat's victims.

A devastating ad.



[via Sullivan]

Any clip where a comedian is able to bludgeon an audience into a stunned silence is probably worth watching (at 7:39).

MORE: Actually, he does it twice; the first time is at 5:56.

And very, very scary.

In today's prudish political climate, how does this guy get elected?

[via Crooks and Liars]

The FBI asks, why would a 54 year old Congressman take teens on a camping trip?

BigD asks, why is the Republican party lousy with kid diddlers?

Prior to Abu Ghraib, Lynndie England and her beau Charles Graner were stationed at Hilla camp, south of Baghdad, and were already a barrel of laughs. A description of their time at Hilla camp:

Not long into their stay, two of the soldiers appeared at the base one day with animal carcasses. They'd found a dead goat and a dead cat somewhere and started slicing them up. Someone took a photo of a soldier pretending to have sex with the goat's head. "Then they cut off the cat's head and shoved it on the top of a soda bottle," England says.

For several weeks, the decaying animal heads provided entertainment for the soldiers. "Someone put sunglasses on them, and put the rifle next to the heads and took a picture. Some soldiers put a cigarette in the cat's mouth," she says. The soldiers stashed the severed heads in their rooms.

"It was funny," England says. "So funny."

During that time, Graner instigated another kind of amusement: sexually charged weekly theme parties in the barracks. "Naked Chem-Light Tuesday," he called it. A Chem-Light is a light stick used by soldiers that's akin to a flashlight, containing hydrogen peroxide and a fluorescent dye packaged in a small plastic tube. Break it open, and the stuff glows for hours. One night, Graner pulled his shorts down, poured the contents of a Chem-Light onto his penis, and walked around naked.

Support our troops!

"F" for "Fuck the Police."

When he's walking on the street with his crew, Bert looks like a hard motherfucker.  I wouldn't mess him.

[via Racialicious]

SFW. Kinda.

From the otherwise terribly unfunny Jimmy Kimmel:

No, not that bush stabbing. The other Bush stabbing.

edit: Goddamn logins.

It's a shame that Air America Radio is filing for bankruptcy.  Hopefully, it can get back on it's feet.

It's also unfortunate that the station is almost completely fucking unlistenable.  With one or two exceptions, every show on that station makes me want to drive off a cliff.

The Lucksmiths, "A Hiccup In Your Happiness"

I know that having two posts in one day comparing us to the Nazis is perhaps a bit much, but I'm doing it anyway:

Under the terrifying terms of the radical new Military Commissions Act, Bush can declare anyone--including you--an "unlawful enemy combatant," a term that doesn't exist in U.S. or international law. All he has to do is sign a piece of paper claiming that you "purposefully and materially supported hostilities against the United States." The law's language is brilliantly vague, allowing the president to imprison--for the rest of his or her life--anyone, including a U.S. citizen, from someone who makes a contribution to a group he disapproves of to a journalist who criticizes the government.

Although Bush and his top officials ordered and endorsed torture, the courts had found that it was illegal under U.S. law and treaty obligations. Now torture is, for the first time, legal.
...

How did we get here? Good Germans--and many of them were decent, moral people--asked themselves the same thing. The answer is incrementalism, the tendency of radical change to manifest itself in bits and pieces. People who should have known better--journalists, Democrats, and Republicans who are more loyal to their country than their party--allowed Bush and his neofascist gangsters to hijack our republic and its values. They weren't as bad as Bush. They just couldn't see the big picture.

Just as no single rollback led marked the transition from the Weimar Republic to the Third Reich, no event is individually responsible for America's shocking five-year transformation from beacon of freedom to autocratic torture state. It wasn't just letting Bush get away with his 2000 coup d'état. It wasn't just us standing by as he deliberately allowed his family friend Osama bin Laden to escape, or as he invaded Afghanistan, or as he built the concentration camps at Guantánamo and elsewhere, or even Iraq. It was all of those things collectively.

The Military Commissions Act signals that our traditional system of beliefs and government has irrevocably devolved into moral bankruptcy. Memo to Senator McCain: You don't negotiate with terrorists, and you don't compromise with torturers.

It doesn't matter how much food aid we ship to the victims of the next global natural disaster, or how diplomatic our next president is, or whether we come to regret what we have done in the name of law and order. Our laws permit kidnapping, torture and murder. Our laws deny access to the courts. The United States has ceded the moral high ground to its enemies.

We are done.

From Hitchens Watch:

"Hitchens claims to be unperturbed by his critics... 'People say, "What's it like to be a minority of one, or a kick-bag for the Internet?" It washes off me like jizz off a porn star's face.'"

Classy.

At this point, I think we all wish Christopher Hitchens was, as Karen Duffy described the San Francisco cast of MTV's "The Real World", "self-involved to the point of autism." Instead, he's merely self-involved:

In a 2003 interview, Hitchens said the events of September 11th filled him with "exhiliration." His friend Ian Buruma, the writer, told me, "I don't quite see Christopher as a 'man of action,' but he's always looking for our defining moments--as it were, our Spanish Civil War, where you put yourself on the right side and stand up to the enemy." Hitchens foresaw "a war to the finish between everything I love and everything I hate." Here was a question on which history would judge him; and just as Orwell had (in his view) got it right on the great questions of the 20th century -- Communism, Fascism, and imperialism -- so Hitchens wanted a future student to see that he had been similarly clear-eyed (He once wrote, "I have tried for much of my life to write as if I was composing my sentences posthumously.)

Absorb that: This isn't about 9/11, or "Islamofascism," or repression in the Arab World. It's about Christopher Hitchens. It's about his need for an enemy great enough, dark enough, sinister enough, and threatening enough that he can match the exploits and courage of Orwell's unpopular, often courageous crusades.

It explains, too, why Hitchens and so many like him are quick to inflate the dangers posed by Islamic extremists, to make threats out of enemies and existential dangers out of garden variety terrorists. If they don't, if they allow al Qaeda to remain a degraded organization with limited operational capacity that should be mopped up through diligent law enforcement strategies, then where does that leave them in the eyes of history? Orwell battled against Communism, Hitchens is going to take a brave posture against 27 bearded nuts who want white men to leave their lands?

Of course not. So in his writings, "Islamofascism" subtly becomes communism circa-1962, an expansionist, attractive ideology bristling with nuclear weapons and demands that can neither be understood nor negotiated. It does that because nothing else is equal to the challenge of Christopher Hitchens:

"[My critics] want me to immolate myself, and I sincerely believe that, for some of them, when they see bad news from Iraq, the reaction is simply 'This will make Christopher Hitchens look bad!' I've been trying to avoid such solipsism, but I've come to believe there are such people.

Good job on dodging inflated self-regard. Hitchens literally believes this is about him. That what happens in Iraq reflects on him. That those who oppose it are quaking before Hitchens' moral clarity, and watching the IEDs for anything that will discredit this brave, occasional Slate columnist.

Worrying about the judgement of history almost ensures that the judgement will be harsh. Although in this case, Hitchens will most likely be merely forgotten.

[via Majikthise]

Paul Craig Roberts:

Americans are too inattentive and distracted to be aware of the grave danger that the neoconservative Bush regime presents to American liberty and to world stability. The neoconservative drive to achieve hegemony over the American people and the entire world is similar to Hitler's drive for hegemony. Hitler used racial superiority to justify Germany's right to ride roughshod over other peoples and the right of the Nazi elite to rule over the German people.
Neoconservatives use "American exceptionalism" and "the war on terror." There is no practical difference. Hitler cared no more about the peoples he mowed down in his drive for supremacy than the neoconservatives care about 655,000 dead Iraqis, 100,000 disabled American soldiers and 2,747 dead ones.

When Bush, the Decider, claims unconstitutional powers and uses "signing statements" to negate US law whenever he feels the rule of law is in the way of his leadership, he is remarkably similar to Hitler, the Fuhrer, who told the Reichstag on February 20, 1938: "A man who feels it his duty at such an hour to assume the leadership of his people is not responsible to the laws of parliamentary usage or to a particular democratic conception, but solely to the mission placed upon him. And anyone who interferes with this mission is an enemy of the people."

"You are with us or against us."

Cursive is dying, which is fine with me since I can barely write in it. I literally cannot remember how to write a capital F or Y in cursive.

Email from a Marine in Iraq:

Most Surreal Moment - Watching Marines arrive at my detention facility and unload a truck load of flex-cuffed midgets. 26 to be exact. I had put the word out earlier in the day to the Marines in Fallujah that we were looking for Bad Guy X, who was described as a midget. Little did I know that Fallujah was home to a small community of midgets, who banded together for support since they were considered as social outcasts. The Marines were anxious to get back to the midget colony to bring in the rest of the midget suspects, but I called off the search, figuring Bad Guy X was long gone on his short legs after seeing his companions rounded up by the giant infidels.

More:

Most Profound Man in Iraq - an unidentified farmer in a fairly remote area who, after being asked by Reconnaissance Marines (searching for Syrians) if he had seen any foreign fighters in the area replied "Yes, you."

[ via Steve Gilliard ]

New USA TODAY/Gallup Poll:

Four weeks before congressional elections, a new USA TODAY/Gallup Poll shows Democrats hold a 23-point lead over GOP candidates. That's double the lead Republicans had a month before they seized control of Congress in 1994.

President Bush's approval rating was 37%, down from 44% in a Sept. 15-17 poll. The approval rating for Congress was 24%, down 5 points from last month.

Come on, motherfuckers, don't blow this opportunity. Please.

The latest:

"It's a great honour to be here in minor nation of France," he said, adding that all he had heard about the country's refined cuisine was true.

"Your McDonald's are wonderful ... I eat there 15 of these delicious hamburgers," though he reflected that "today there was a problem and my anus was hanging loose like the mouth of a tired dog".

I'd like to introduce our new highly effective foreign policy, Deter With Dour Looks™.

Bush moves goalposts, implicitly rules out military action:

Mr. Bush said he “remains committed to diplomacy,” but that any transfer by North Korea of nuclear or nuclear-related missile technology to “any state or non-state actor” would “be considered a grave threat to the United States.”

Which is good.

But it looks like the test was a dud. Which is also good. Very good. See here and here.

I'll write about nuclear tests and high school debate in a second. Maybe Monster has something to say about that too...

The U.S. government, as imagined by Rumsfeld:

The charge of incompetence against the U.S. government should be easy to rebut if the American people understand the extent to which the current system of government makes competence next to impossible.

See?  They're not imcompetent.  It's the system.

I wonder if they actually believe this, and if so, if the belief is widespread throughout the administration.  It would go a long way towards explaining how they can fuck things up so monumentally, over and over again, and then refuse to remedy any of their cock ups.  It's the damn system.  Fits nicely with their inability to accept blame, too.

Sweet crappin' christ, for all our sakes, I hope this is not real:

George W. pulled Bandar aside.
     "Bandar, I guess you're the best asshole who knows about the world. Explain to me one thing."
     "Governor, what is it?"
     "Why should I care about North Korea?"
     Bandar said he didn't really know. It was one of the few countries that he did not work on for King Fahd.
     "I get these briefings on all parts of the world," Bush said, "and everybody is talking to me about North Korea."
     "I'll tell you what, Governor," Bandar said. "One reason should make you care about North Korea."
     "All right, smart alek," Bush said, "tell me."
     "The 38,000 American troops right on the border." ..."If nothing else counts, this counts. One shot across the border and you lose half these people immediately. You lose 15,000 Americans in a chemical or biological or even regular attack. The United State of America is at war instantly."
     "Hmmm," Bush said. "I wish those assholes would put things just point-blank to me. I get half a book telling me about the history of North Korea."
     "Now I tell you another answer to that. You don't want to care about North Korea anymore?" Bandar asked. The Saudis wanted America to focus on the Middle East and not get drawn into a conflict in East Asia.
     "I didn't say that," Bush replied.
     "But if you don't, you withdrawl those troops back. Then it becomes a local conflict. Then you have the whole time to decide, 'Should I get involved? Not involved?' Etc."
     At that moment, Colin Powell approached.
     "Colin," Bush said, "come here. Bandar and I were shooting the bull, just two fighter pilots shooting the bull." He didn't mention the topic.
     "Mr. Governor," Bandar said, "General Powell is almost a fighter pilot. He can shoot the bull almost as good as us."

If you're clueless about this Borat stuff, Cracked has their Top 10 Borat Skits of All Time, a virtual orgy of copyright infringement, over on their site. Go look when you have a sec.

I Pity the Fool, starring Mr. T. A "Reali-T" show, apparently.

On TV Land.

Website here.

In celebration, I present you with some wonderfully uplifiting archival footage. It is T exhorting us to "Treat Your Mother Right" and contains the following quasi-perfect lyric:

"M is for the moan
and the miserable groan
from that pain
that she felt
when I was born."

Genius.

What will happen on October 6th?

MORE: This? (-ethan)



UPDATE: Well, they had to do it before the market closed on Friday. Some people obviously knew this was coming. (-ethan)

[via Oliver Willis]

If this is true, I might completely lose my shit.

I actually liked the The Virgin Suicides and Lost in Translation.
And aside from her horrendous performance in The Godfather III, I don't really have a problem with Sophia Coppola.

However, I couldn't help but snicker at the description of her as "the satanic degenerate Sophia Coppola, a talentless waterhead so dependent on her daddy's name that she can only be described as the George W. Bush of the indy film world."

Just once, I would love to see a guest respond to Chris Matthews' crazed burbling by asking, "Are you off your nut, man?"

Someone should tell him that you don't have to treat the insane rantings of your most insane guests as if they were rationally held opinions:

MATTHEWS:  Do you think—we have some tough customers on this show, Pat Buchanan, as you know, he‘s a pretty tough customer on the cultural values front.  And we had Tony Perkins, who‘s a Christian conservative activist, the other day, a leader, I should say.  Both raising the question, maybe it‘s a hobgoblin, it‘s being raised now in the this context, should we have—should gay people serve in Congress?  These guys raised this issue.  And do you think that is a fair issue to raise, to broad brush people who have that orientation, given these events?

[...]

MATTHEWS:  So you believe a gay member of Congress can serve with the same kind of sexual restraint expected of a heterosexual member?

Next he'll ask, "The Weekly World News says that the Bat Boy has admitted that he is the source of the Foley IMs.  Your thoughts?"*

(*Of course, this is nonsense.  The Bat Boy endorsed Al Gore in 2001, and therefore cannot be the Republican source of the Foley IMs.)

NYT:

[E]vangelical Christian leaders are warning one another that their teenagers are abandoning the faith in droves.
...
Their alarm has been stoked by a...claim that if current trends continue, only 4 percent of teenagers will be “Bible-believing Christians” as adults.

Hallelujah!

From Mr. Show. NSFW.