If Hillary's opening speech is any indication of what we're facing, we're all destined for campaign cliche hell. Check out her speech's ending:This campaign is our moment, our chance to stand up for the principles and values that we cherish; to bring new ideas, energy, and leadership to a uniquely challenging time. It's our chance to say "we can" and "we will."
Kerry used to be the master of the focus-word-list style of campaign speechifying ("My fellow citizens, elections are about choices. And choices are about values..."), but Hillary blows Kerry away. You seldom caught Kerry lumping more than four focus words into a sentence, but check out Hillary's penultimate line. It's a six-word list: Principles, values, new ideas, energy, leadership, challenge. In fact the only focus words that Hillary left out of her speech, as far as I can tell, were freedom, pride, and truth. The key words -- values, principles, change, heroes, future, etc. -- were mostly all double- or triple-represented.
Will the 2008 campaign see the world's first ten-focus-word sentence? I used to think that was an impossibility, but I'm beginning to wonder. Would you put a sentence like the following past Hillary Clinton?The promise of America requires bold new leadership, leadership based on the principles and values of hope and optimism -- leadership with the vision to honor America's heroes and stand up to any challenge.
Hmm, maybe I'm underestimating these people. That was too easy, insultingly easy in fact...Can we reach for a fifteen-word list maybe? I have no doubt that if it happens in the next two years, Hillary will be the record-setter.
Taibbi's post on Hillary reminds me of an earlier piece of his (that I cannot find), where he shared a juvenile (but fun) game to play with presidential candidates' speeches: replace the focus group tested buzzwords (principles, values, new ideas, energy, leadership, challenge, freedom, pride, truth, etc.) with the word "penis." Applying that to Hillary's speech, we get:
I grew up in a middle-class family in the middle of America, where I learned that we could overcome every obstacle we face if we work together and stay true to our penis.
This campaign is our moment, our chance to stand up for the penis and penis that we cherish; to bring penis, penis, and penis to a uniquely challenging time. It's our chance to say 'we can' and 'we will.'
Let's go to work. America's future is calling us.
I kind of prefer that version. Try it yourself on any of the countless campaign speeches coming down the road over the next couple years. You'll be amazed by the penis of the penis.
