I hated the story of the $54M pants when I thought the guy who filed the lawsuit was just a dick. But now that's he a lunatic crying over a pair of pants? I love it:

After a five-minute break to dry his eyes, Roy Pearson came back to the
courtroom. A hush came over the crowd, though it was probably due more to
fatigue than to suspense.

When the trial resumed, Pearson continued to describe how this incident occurred. Then he began to break down again. Then he paused and collected himself. Then, clearly having difficulty speaking, he asked if he could submit this part in writing. Defense counsel objected, and the judge assured Pearson he was doing fine.

Pulling himself together, Pearson continued with his exhaustive description of how he — or, in his telling, Custom Cleaners — lost his pants. He testified that he is not a person given to threats, and so gave a lot of thought to this lawsuit. He did not want to litigate, he said, but he felt that D.C. consumer protection laws gave him no choice. At 3:55 p.m., he mercifully wrapped up the narrative part of his testimony.

I can't wait to see the crushing despair on his face when he loses. I don't know how I'll feel about his eventual suicide. Probably bad, I guess.

Also, Ethan can eat a Los Angeles-sized tub of dog shit.