JOE BIDEN:
Pros: one of the Senate's oldest and most respected experts in the field of Joe Biden; vast bullshit reserve could be tapped for its methane, powering nation for decades; fondness for partition and ethnic cleansing could be a valuable asset during the Second American Civil War of 2013
Cons: as a wholly-owned subsidiary of DuPont, may be ineligible to hold office

JIM WEBB:
Pros: tempers Obama's unhinged situational war skepticism with demonstrated love of killing things; broadens party appeal to critical demographic of trigger-happy bug-eyed Reagan officials
Cons: vice-presidency would ultimately distract Webb from important work of wiretapping random people while masturbating his guns