wow, sweet november is pretty bad. why are they still making movies in the pretty young actress disease genre? when are people going to get sick of watching keanu non-emote? do charlize theron's legs ever end? and, most importantly, why doesn't this movie have a goo goo dolls song on the soundtrack? in any event, i got to finally see a genuine nyc screening room. pretty nice, stadium seating, bigger than detroit's lone venue. i'm glad ethan took me. hope i get to go to more, it'll save me from spending my hard-earned $200 bills.

i just watched tonight's dawson's. when is joshua jackson going to come knock on my door and fall in love with me? or some one like him? i wish he'd hurry. (there was also, shockingly, a nice scene involving dawson himself - mr brooks gave him a sweet little stealth hug. made me miss terry, like, a lot.)

my apartment is now officially a pigsty. i will clean tomorrow.
posted at 10:28 PM

staved off hunger with a hummus sandwich. i think i'll get some frites when i go down to the office to make copies and such. first, though, i have to get dressed. but at least i now have an excellent job to apply for with the xfl.
posted at 1:49 PM

i am officially in love with red bull. and officially in hate with james.
posted at 12:22 AM

interviews went well, i think. the martha offices are really frightening, because it seriously looks like she designed and decorated them herself: very white, very bright, bleached wood floors, airy, open space, and in general martha-esque. i was in with the editor for an hour or so, talking about this and that, mostly factchecking-related. she knows i'm green, which works against me a bit, but i might end up with it. we'll see. it'll be interesting if i do. tvguide, on the other hand, was pretty cakey. i just wish they had some openings.

total michigan weather day today. it poured all morning and early afternoon (of course, the one day i have to be walking outside and wearing nice clothes/shoes). but the temperatures are quite mild, nearly 50F, and when i entered the subway around midtown it was gray and drizzly. when i exited in scenic harlem, blue skys, a few fluffy clouds, blinding sun, balmy warmth. felt like home. i almost forgot to be thankful that i spent a little extra money to buy a real umbrella after seeing all the jackasses in midtown with their minibrellas blown inside out.

[jameswatch2k]: 8a. same shit, different day. i'm losing my marbles.
posted at 3:55 PM

<Dj-Cheeto> stranged: what state do you work in?
<stranged> illinois
<stranged> or did you mean mental state?
<Dj-Cheeto> hahahha
<Dj-Cheeto> no you got it right the first time
<Dj-Cheeto> is that far from California?
<stranged> umm
<stranged> are you from iceland or something?
<Dj-Cheeto> no I"m from california
<stranged> do they have elementary schools there?
<jason|> stranged..give cheeto a break
<jason|> its chicago
<jason|> not a big city
<Dj-Cheeto> oh chicago
<Dj-Cheeto> I know where that is
<stranged> chicago isn't a state ;p
<Dj-Cheeto> above michigan right?
<Dj-Cheeto> I know it from married with children

posted at 12:39 AM

well, james finished watching gladiator and has moved right along to shaft. i recognize the bassline coming through my floor, with a little treble. this means two things: i am pathetic, and his speakers are still too fucking loud. i went downstairs a while ago when stuff was vibrating off the top of my tv and asked him to turn it down, which he did. i was actually expecting to talk to his wife, because i thought james would be at work. he'd told me he was an electrician, but maybe that was just a lie. maybe he's a pimp, or a crack dealer, or a fence, or all three. i just wish he'd shut the fuck up.

going to go downtown shortly and pick up mail at the post office, pay some bills, and continue my search for red bull. have to wait around here to snipe this poster, which will soon be mine all mine. i still have to fix my printer, although i was productive: wrote 582 wts, talked to cable and got a couple of assignments (thank you, cable, for giving me stuff to do; you're saving my life), set up a couple factchecking interviews for tomorrow. something's got to work out. martha stewart weddings, here i come!
posted at 3:08 PM

i forgot to write about the ironminds reading last week. i got there late, in time to hear will list all the women he's kissed and down two vodka tonics on an empty stomach. i was a total basket case and couldn't even uphold a coherent conversation with anyone (because of the mess that is my life, not because of the alcohol - i ended up going out for dinner with andy and morrow afterward and said like five words the entire time, felt like a total social moron). morrow and i were talking with this guy he cooked dinner for because of the ironminds auction last year and the girl he was with, and after a few minutes she asked if morrow and i were together. commence awkward conversation pause, after which point he and i both say no. it was weird. it has not been further discussed, which is okay with me for now.

[jameswatch2k]: i was all excited to sleep in this morning, especially since i was up until 3a writing about the halftime show. oh, silly me, getting my hopes up. the music started at 8a, at which point i woke up. i stayed in bed another two hours, hoping it would stop. it didn't. gave up, got up, showered, dressed, and now i'm debating whether i really want to go bitch. but goddamn, this is loud. working at home is going to be painful if it's like this every day.
posted at 1:36 PM

random survivor thoughts: debb==jo from facts of life; kimmi==survivor jenna+big brother eddie; michael skupin can be my dad any time, mr hottie-bo-body; i'm never eating at a keith famie restaurant again whenever i go home; elizabeth==renee zellweger; did the harvard law guy (didn't even catch his name) say one word the entire time? i don't think so.

the firewall-constrained campgod wonders if anyone's registered kimmisnipples.com.

posted at 11:17 PM

i love these little conversations with dad where i say two things and he ignores the second and then carps at me for not telling him in the first place. gah.

dinner was fine, turkey and stuffing and sander's hot fudge (milk, though, not bittersweet, so it wasn't exactly right). stayed through the third quarter and then went off in search of red bull. no luck. but i will triumph soon. also, two words about the superbowl: PIRATE SHIP.

time for survivor. yeehaw.
posted at 10:13 PM

it's a miracle! a miracle! not only did the pistons win, not only did they beat a team with an over-.500 record, but they defeated milwaukee, who are currently in first place in the central division. doesn't get any better than that. (okay, yes it does, and it's called "winning record".)

i was looking forward to an evening of football and nsync, but my uncle wants me to come over for dinner right at kickoff. i don't think he's even aware of the superbowl, nor of the monumental halftime show being put on by mtv. i was hoping to at least be constructive by giving him my prescription so i could get new contacts, but i can't find the empty contacts boxes i thought i saved, so now i'm uncertain of my exact scrip. if he was kind, he's just ask me to come down to his office and he'd check me really quick. but i'd be really shocked if he did anything of the sort, and then i'd ask him if he was feeling okay.

<caNAACP> i make 8 digits
<jason|> caNAACP: u dont count the digits to the right of the decimal
<caNAACP> oh
<caNAACP> :(

[jameswatch2k]: mild bass at 1030a (it's sunday, ferchrissakes) quickly flowered into what sounded like a dvd, since i heard voices and music.
posted at 11:53 AM

ohhhh. it's finally back. someday when i'm rich, it will be mine. although this one is a lot more affordable.. can i justify it? something to think about.

just watched the 12/10/00 episode of the x-files. i've got a bunch more to get through but i figure it's time to get them off the tivo - clear some room under the salary cap, as it were. it was surprisingly good, after the boredom i felt with the first few of the season's episodes. partly due to the excellency of sir joe morton, partly due to the turn-back-time premise, a concept close to my heart.

now three kings is on skinemax ("what you mean, 'cannot take'? we kicked saddam's ass, we definitely take.") i think i'll order chuck and buck on dvd from amazon. i still feel bad about not seeing it in the theatre, and i have some gift certs to kill. plan for the rest of the night: continue to occupy the couch. then sleep.

where's the jesus fire?
posted at 9:19 PM

cleaned out almost all of my shit at work yesterday, but i'm going to have to go back next week to make copies of clips and use general facilities. i staged a miniraid on the supply closet thursday evening, which was probably ethically wrong, but i doubt anybody is going to miss that stapler, and i needed it, dammit - i left my lucky hello kitty mini-stapler that i've had since i was six years old (look ma, street cred!) in detroit. i should look for it next time i go home.

the last day was slightly better than i expected. the ulcer-inducing february ewi cover story was finally done, so i didn't have to worry about that. (i do, however, have to find a replacement for blow.com for my misdirected movie domains box.) i sent around a farewell email and actually got a few responses (and a few semi-job leads that i'm looking into on monday). said my goodbyes, had good exit chats with cable and richard. i should know in a couple weeks about the job. no high hopes, though. i know they're looking at somebody else pretty hard, per some insider information from somebody who didn't quite realize what the implications were when the information was passed to me. i'm trying hard not to think about it, because if i do i get panicky and paralyzed. one day at a time.

unfortunately, i was forced to go out to eat for both lunch and dinner and i felt peer pressured into actually consuming food. my stomach is still all fucked up, and that made it worse. blah. today i ate: two tamales, two lenders bagels plus creamcheese, one apple. i am a health fiend! (i haven't really moved off the couch since i went out to the tamale lady with morrow.)
posted at 4:08 PM

can you say darwin awards? this guy can. too bad he can't technically win one.

welcome home, howdy doody.

i don't care if it's real or not. it's fucking funny.

[jameswatch2k]: 8a the bass comes on so loud that items on my dresser are audibly shaking. ends at 840a, and i sleep for another 30 minutes.
posted at 12:01 PM

you can't spell "wiener schnitzel" without the w.

every day i grow more and more embarrassed to put the michigan daily on my resume.
posted at 2:21 PM

talked to dad and josh on the phone, feel a little better although dragging myself out of pajamas is going to be a major chore, i can tell already. work is going to be a nightmare, what with this cover package disaster. plus i have to call some people and beg them to hire me. maybe i'll get a food cart and sell coffee and morning muffins to wall streeters. this could go one of two ways: phat tips because they're flush with bachelor cash, or nothing but patrick bateman disdain and loathing. also my body temperature seems to have dipped to 98.1F as a general rule, although i think i'm going to test again when i get home tonight. but it was that low last week when i felt unpleasant and took it. interesting.

np in my head: nin/somewhat damaged
posted at 10:23 AM

there's really no good reason why i've been up since 5a.
posted at 6:45 AM

you know it's bad when you start crying on the toilet.

i feel so second tier.
posted at 1:15 AM

jill is still here, sleeping over again. she was going to go home but yesterday we started watching my so-called life and, well, we haven't stopped. i'm watching her and she's having the perfect reaction, the reaction i had, the reaction where you are giddy and consumed and obsessed and cannot wait to watch the next one, can't stop, can't stop, can't stop, like somebody has taken over your brain and infected you and you will never be the same and you are so glad for this disease because before you had it you were not complete and now no matter how bad it gets you have this patch inside of you where perfection resides and things are calm, if only for a moment.

we just watched five episodes in a row. after three last night. is my head going to explode? do i care?

sometimes i feel like it's the first time, when i watch her smile that smile, when i watch that unraveled piece of fabric like he's from a poor family. you can't go back. but you can sure as hell try.

i signed a freelance contract today. w00t! rejected kicker of the day, re this:

Says Amazon.com spokesman Bill Curry: "It's very funny. Too bad it isn't legitimate." Kind of like the president himself.

np in my head: the delgados/american trilogy
posted at 12:04 AM

i went out in search of tamales an hour ago, my sinful lust getting the better of my judgment (my fridge is full for the first time, well, ever, and yet i choose to go out..). i was, of course, smote by cruel fate - even worse after thinking it would be okay since i got the go-ahead sign of the bus being at the corner right when i was at the corner, so i didn't have to walk four long blocks - and the tamale lady was nowhere to be found. i even searched a few other corners for her, but she was not there. so i walked over to broadway and got an egg bagel with creamcheese from columbia hot bagels, my favorite bagel place that is conveniently open 24 hours. again, i thought fate was with me - my bagel was fresh out of the oven, hot enough to melt the creamcheese into a pleasantly cool goo - and again, i was smote. i went to the bus stop to wait for the bus. and wait. and wait.

and wait.

i watched not one, not two, but eight buses go by, all either out of service or the wrong number or not in the mood or whatever. by the fifth bus i got very tempted to just walk home, but then number six went by and i knew i was closer to getting a bus than not, that if i left one would show up immediately, and it was at this point a battle of wills, a matter of principle, between me and the mta, and i'd be damned if i let them win.

after half an hour, an m4 bus finally showed its miserable, exhaust-exhaling face. it took ten minutes just for all the people waiting for the bus to swipe their cards and get on. then a big fat guy who really needed the entire bench sat next to me, imprisoning me between his blubber and the window, and took five minutes to maneuver out of the way when i had to get off the bus.

did i mention i didn't get tamales? grr.

last night with chet was fun. we attempted to go to miss mamie's spoonbread too, a southern/soul place a few blocks from here that i like a lot, but they were closed. we ended up getting italian at v&t. my spinach ravioli was good but the sauce was too oily. came back here and watched half of l.a. confidential (would have watched the whole thing but it was late and chet had to drive back to connecticut). chet thinks my apartment is small. i didn't say anything to disabuse him of the notion.

now i have another hour or so of freedom (so much for getting any writing done) before intern jill come to sleep over after getting kicked out of her sublet earlier than expected, and ken is in town. psyched to see him, counterpartner-in-crime to my canadian fetish.

[jameswatch2k]: woke up at 7a to some shouting from down below, then the music started. at 815a i actually walked out of the apt with the intent of complaining, but suffered an inordinate fear after yesterday's odd confrontation and instead went back to bed. fell asleep about an hour later, woke up at noon. i dreamed everything got changed around at work and i didn't know where any offices/cubicles were, where i was supposed to go, i had to take a shower, and then i was told i got the job. i was overcome. i mean, overcome. then i woke up to the miserable hell that is my life, reality ready and waiting to laugh at my subconscious suggestibility, my gullibility. my responsibility.
posted at 2:32 PM

wow. i didn't think it was possible for scottie pippen to get any uglier, but he has proven me wrong with his cornrows. (and phil jackson's soul patch, good god. there must have been something in the water in chicago.)

i wasted the entire afternoon, pretty much, watching ball and doing laundry. as usual, it took two (although not three, amazingly) dryer cycles, but i was worried about my new pajamas running. they didn't. total cost: $3.75, plus detergent/dryer sheet and time spent running in the sleet to get more quarters. definitely not worth it. also watched romper stomper on dvd. like it well enough, although it was very abbreviated. if that makes any sense. now i'm watching cnn and wondering exactly what rock greta van susteren crawled out from under, what cnn thinks it has to gain by making her the new face of the network (i know she's not new new, but suddenly she's everywhere), and why she brought her hairstylist with her. bad move, gret-baby.

i was going to spent tonight being a shut-in, eating stuff from my fridge, pondering my navel, but now chet is coming over. i haven't seen him in a while.
posted at 9:49 PM

so last night right before i went to bed, 1a, in fact right as i was on the bed about to get under the covers, my doorbell rang. i froze, silently freaking. didn't move a muscle. the person was still out there. i walked stealthily to the living room and grabbed my mace, stood there like that for another few minutes. finally i heard the person leave, but just to be sure i looked out the peephole, heart pounding. nobody there. whew.

then just now as i returned from heavenly tamale land (and they were so heavenly), i saw james standing outside the building. he was locked out and calling his wife on his cell. i said hi, blah blah, walked inside, he follow, and then, and then, he said he rang my door last night around 1a, what was all the ruckus, it sounded like somebody running back and forth across the floor. what the fuck?! first of all, there isn't even room to run in my apartment, and second, i don't really weigh enough to create any sort of heavy treading. (or so i'd like to think, anyway.) i'd been watching a recording of the pistons vs knicks from earlier in the evening, then got ready for bed, then (almost) got into bed. what the fuck?! maybe there are obese rats running around between my floor and his ceiling. or maybe james is just a crazy crackhead. bah.

i wandered around bway/110th area for a while, hoping a mom'n'pop (or at list ping'n'wong) computer shop would make itself apparent to me, but there doesn't seem to be any. you'd think there would be, in a college area, but you'd be wrong, i guess. i did purchase a couple new power strips and a cable signal splitter, which i'll play with soon, and browsed in lechters for a while, making a list of stuff i want to buy soon but not now because i didn't print out a coupon from their website.
posted at 3:20 PM

drat. looks like my phone call (or so i'd like to think) tipped amazon off to the gwb wish list - it disappeared at 4p. major suckage, although it certainly adds a new angle to my story. down with corporate dictatorships!

i was supposed to go see onimasa at the BAM! with intern peter and his friend. i called peter at 645p - no answer. left a message, headed down to the theatre. get there, no peter, no friend. then i discover that, haha, the movie doesn't start at 8p. the sked was wrong, and it really started at 645p. wtf! i tried calling peter again, again no answer. waited a few minutes, gave up, called steve, went to dinner with him. then i came home and discovered.. a message from peter on my machine. didn't call my cell. sigh. maybe we'll hook up for something later in the weekend.

i still haven't figured out where i'm going to get a case for my computer. i need to work on that.

it's almost tamale time!
posted at 10:41 PM

i knew there was a reason i was glad amazon didn't go out of business (and not just because i have a bunch of gift certificates i still have to use there). my favorite entry would have to be this one.

free lunch today. it's from mangia, which means it's so-so (i once ate something from there and became violently ill later in the evening), but it's free.

headline of the day:

Fire thrown from S. Quad window

meanwhile, looks like the state street crows, who once pooped on my head (forcing me to wash my hair in a sink, as i was on my way to brian's dorm room), have finally resurfaced. gross.
posted at 12:42 PM

making things a little slicker around here, taking care of archiving problems. oh, the things i do for you.
posted at 12:26 AM

okay, that was fucking weird. i was ftping the latest update to monkey and the word "skeptic" showed up at the prompt when i flipped screens. i think i maybe hit a wrong key. except that i tried to reproduce it and couldn't, and i hit ^u too quickly to truly verify that it was there. could i have hallucinated it? why that word? is somebody sending me a message from the great beyond, telling me not to be so hard on myself, telling me to have more faith in the things i cannot control?

well, i doubt it.

(duh.)
posted at 11:34 PM

monkey monkey monkey.

it's the g-dub and johnny show!

went to zabar's tonight and got some dill shrimp, bread, hummus, a multitude of snackerrific knishes, and got suckered into a couple of chocolate croissants because they were half price. then i hit the green grocer and got a box of clementines, bag of carrots, and bunch of bananas. i'm such a little healthy food wannabe. i think i'll bring lunch to work tomorrow. there's a first time for everything.
posted at 10:16 PM

suckdot was hysterical when it was done a year ago (that long already? wow). but now it's apparently for real.

hello, my name is anna nicole smith.

some people have great ideas. i am not one of them.
posted at 1:50 PM

my new palm iiic was waiting on my desk when i got to work today. it's pretty rad, way better than my plain old palm (which, i'm sorry to admit, i haven't used in months). i'm going to donate my old palm to my brother. the new one is color and has a rechargable battery, which automatically makes it super. i would have preferred a v or a vii, but you can't look a swag horse in the mouth. and i wish it had less body mass to it, was a little sleeker. ah well. i'll try to put it to use. more motivation to get an atx case this weekend so i can build my new desktop.

phoned it in at work today - rolled in around noon, left at 6p. accomplished nothing other than meeting the new intern, whom i've already stalked because i'm such a gigantic nerd. we talked about dsl vs cable today. he knew the difference. swoon. he's kind of cute. he should ask me out. he should read this page. but he'll probably do none of these things. which is probably good, because he'd be horrified. oh well!

i finally made it to the supermarket, after being thwarted on mlkjr day by early shutdown. bought banana bread (and baking in general) ingredients at long last, only to forget to buy the bananas. i suck. i also got a two liter of coke because it was cheap and i needed a mixer for rum. it doesn't count as coke consumption if it's strictly for captain'n'coke. then i came home and was a happy little homemaker: vacuumed, did the dishes, emptied out the final box of kitchen stuffs from move-in. i inventoried my spices (need paprika and oregano, and vanilla, which isn't really a spice but so what) and also discovered that i have a set of french onion soup crocks (roast garlic, here i come) and a wonderful pyrex casserole dish. good thing i didn't buy one last week, even though i thought about it. and now i'm drinking rum and coke, and listening to psb/nightlife, and i'm going to watch dawson's. for the moment, it's not so bad.
posted at 9:22 PM

it's time to redefine the phrase "eunuch party". what's that you say? the phrase "eunuch party" doesn't exist? pah! says you.

it appears that the onion has been out-onioned. i think i'll join in the fun.
posted at 12:13 AM

three reasons why today is already better than yesterday: my dry goods from the tivo rebate (tivo doll, extra remote) showed up; jon brion's new cd arrived; and this picture.

one reason why it's not: in the murderous hysteria of last night, i completely forgot that i had to write a cap of the bright eyes/son, ambulance split. how can you cover two bands in 70 words? shit. there's so much that i want to say, so much that i want to share about conor oberst and his way with words. it's almost offensive to degrade him by putting him in the magazine. listening to conor is like watching ricky's beauty of the bag speech in american beauty. conor's words drip with the stuff of heartbreak and honesty.

the moments that cut me to the quick are those in which art is self-reflexive but completely honest and unaware of being so - the moments when characters discuss something that i feel during the very best moments and create that very feeling with that discussion. that's more convoluted a description than the feeling is - it's just something i know in my heart, by my heart, the way i know my handwriting echoes my mother's like the romantic languages echo latin, the way i know i have a purpose here that i'm going to find even if i haven't found it yet, the way i know that somehow this will all work out. and maybe someday i'll be able to articulate it better. "sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, i feel like i can't take it. like my heart's going to cave in." "i know a girl who cries when she practices violin/because each note sounds so pure it just cuts into her/and then the melody comes pouring out her eyes/now to me, everything else just sounds like a lie." or just a smile at the camera, a breaking of the fourth wall, an acknowledgement that there's a covenant between creator and viewer, a promise to be kept. a rescue from let-down, an affirmation of endeavor. a wink that is so much more serious than the word wink implies, a wink i would never return for fear of missing a single frame while my eye was closed.

oh. i feel like i can't take it.

no lies,
just love.
posted at 10:51 AM

i fixed it. i don't think this required any great amount of skill (other than finding a copy of norton disk doctor in short order, finding a bootable win98 cd, coaxing ndd into action, and prayer). but i did it. i did it.

maybe phil is just a bad luck name. hmm. but phil the first, it's good to have you back.
posted at 9:40 AM

i totally destroyed my laptop tonight, physically damaged the hard drive and i'm now entering hour five of running diagnostics but i know deep down it's gone because that's the kind of shit that happens to me every time and it's going to cost me a million dollars to fix it and i'm so fucking frustrated and nothing ever works out and why am i cursed like this it's not fucking fair.

okay, i have to breathe or i'm going to have a heart attack or some other stress-related infarction by next sunday. i still have my desktop, pokey until i get a case and some ram (guess what's priority #1 this weekend?). but jesus fuck this is just the icing on the cake. the vast conspiracy continues, the fates marshaling their forces and moving in for the kill. just when i think it couldn't get any worse, that things could get any shittier.

i think i should just hide in bed until i'm 30. or dead. or both.

<greenz> all the colleges i am applying to say the same thing
<greenz> pick your own topic
<greenz> something that interest you
<scat> yeah
<scat> talk about how you're a pirate

arr, matey.
posted at 2:07 AM

my weekend ended up being way busier than i intended it to be, the one time out of the year that i'm actually, well, popular. i even got two messages at once on my answering machine - will wonders ever cease? i met pete and katie at fao schwartz yesterday morning, and after the half hour of miscommunication it took me to find them, we walked over to the un building. i'd never been there in person; it's pretty desolate this time of year, no flags, no people, no nothing. then we went to grand central for some chow and parted ways on the 6 train, they to the empire state building and me to the BAM! (the BAM! probably doesn't need an exclamation point, but it's getting one anyway. tough.)

there i saw traffic, which was great. there's no question soderbergh is a brilliant filmmaker (not to mention a brilliant efficiency expert after releasing three movies (!) in the span of 14 months), although like erin bogdanovich it did veer into the preachy. the bombardment of statistics, the futility of it all, what's the point? is that the point? is it a victory to see caroline speaking to the narcanon group at the end? is it a victory that she wasn't martyred? there is no point, is there? it's all so pointless. i have to think about this some more because i'm not really coherent right now.

i am also now (more) in love with topher grace, who rules and should be my boyfriend/drug connection. but still not as suprisingly revelatory as yi yi, which i'd like to see again soon if i have the time/moolah.

went home, got a call from dave, hoofed it to his place - where i ran into my ex-aunt's husband in the elevator, said hello, and he completely ignored me (like i give a shit) - to help make dinner for us and matt and stinky. tamales from the tamale lady, shell pasta with onions anarlic and broccoli and chicken sausage, and i indulged myself with a coke. i've kicked the habit pretty neatly now, but it was either that or beer, and i didn't feel like beer. which reminds me that i'm (horrors!) out of beer, and have been out of beer for three weeks, and will continue to be out of beer until i go to the store. i need an intern.

we watched all these insane old nyc cable access shows that dave has archived on betamax. i'm going to try to get dave to dump a few to vhs for me so i can foist them upon my compadres. they're the funniest things i've seen in my life. tyma timea is my new hero.

when i got up this morning i accidentally put my overalls on backward. it was a very kris kross moment. i vaguely considered walking out the door like that, then realized that it was ridiculous back in 1992 and hadn't become any less so in the past decade. daddy mack'll make ya.
posted at 11:15 AM

slept late, woke up, showered, cleaned apt, then pete and his sister arrived from the airport. i gave them the extended guided tour of my place, which took all of 23 seconds, and then we trekked to the tamale lady. who should we run into but dave! (double strange because i had just spoken to him about 30 minutes prior and he hadn't mentioned that he would be making a tamale lady pilgrimage.) sadly, there were no more tamales, although another shipment was inbound according to the tamale lady's multilingual helper. we hit another food dude two blocks north who i'd seen before but never sampled. won't be sampling again; he had empanadas with several kinds of fillings, as well as cassava with beef, but neither were much above mediocre, and not even close to the inspired cuisine of the tamale lady. so we headed back down south to her cart and settled in for the wait. thankfully, the weather was nice, the first nice weather tamale lady visit i've had. then who should show up but dave's friends laura and uday, whom i'd never met but whose car i'd been in many a time during a dave/stinky trek to queens (dave has use of their volvo). i was amused, as were pete and sister katie - i never run into people i know on the street, and then today there were three i was at least tangentially familiar with. weird, huh?

then we went back to my apartment, gathered bags, and headed down to the hotel. pete got a room at the four seasons. it kicks total ass, and they kept calling him "mr. young" ("they called me mister glass.."), even when he called housekeeping. hysterical. the room was incredible. i've never stayed at a hotel that nice. huge space, comfy bed, internet access (sort of), massive bathroom, three telephones, two televisions, and a shoe shine bag. what more could you ask for? here's the brilliance of it, though: pete is paying for this swank faboo room with anticipated profits from a limited edition beanie baby available only at the four seasons new york. it's a genius scam that i would have been proud to call my own.

we eventually parted and i went to meet james (not james), who i think i will refer to from now on as "morrow," at funayama. it was good, but it was no yama. ah well, i should be going to yama in a few weeks with scott, so i can hold out til then. anyway, dinner with morrow was fun as usual; it's always an anything goes kind of evening when we hang out, since we're both so blithely unpolitically correct. i actually - i haven't done this in years, i swear - snorted beer out my nose when he sallied forth with the phrase "strategic loaf" right as i was swallowing my kirin ichiban. (it was in reference to his friend's dog's wonderful, er, habit.) we then had a fit of hysterics for the next ten minutes at my little nasal oops. i'm still amused. after dinner (no mirugai, no uni, no fun) we went to a bar (the fat black pussycat? something like that) that was, oddly enough, right above the village underground, where ben is playing next month. i'm so jacked about that. it's going to rock. hallelujah, i'm so anxious, sit and wait on love-stained mattress..
posted at 1:03 AM

finally catching up on buffy after like a month. only sunnydale could have both a university and a convent with its city limits. god bless joss. but please, somebody get amber benson some acting lessons. or some amphetamines.

i ate at cozy burger tonight, cheeseburger and fries. next time, burger is ordered medium - i think the cow was still breathing at the medium rare setting. but it satisfied a craving. work was unenlightening today. i'm starting to feel worse and worse about my prospects. i don't have a masters degree, this is my only professional experience, and the previous occupant of the job was the opposite of both. in short, i am a mondo loser. this is not news, i know. i think i'll just watch tv until i pass out.
posted at 9:44 PM

this would really suck. almost makes me worried enough to wish i'd bought a ups. then i remember that i live on the right coast, not the wrong coast.

arg! now that my auction round-up ran, i keep coming across better ones. i just can't win. (no pun intended.)

shit, yo, i've been googling since before google was born.
posted at 1:26 PM

not one, but two signs of the apocalypse today. they might even be related, but it's not my place to speculate on that.

but this is all mitigated by this fabulous new toy. my birthday is in less than 11 months, dear readers..

went to see house of mirth with ethan and jessica. it was a Mean Movie. i do not like Mean Movies, no matter how well made they are. other Mean Movies include the ugly dachshund and the worst offender of all, the movie so evil it made me actually throw up, what about bob?. no joke. no laughing matter.

things are closing in on me.
posted at 10:05 PM

i admit it: i was worked up over (almost) nothing. it was ten minutes of relatively painless chatting, although i don't really see how ten minutes of relatively painless chatting, which is what they did with all four of us, can help in the decision-making process. rewarded myself for surviving with yi yi, which i really liked except for when the bulky old man randomly came and sat next to me for half an hour and then randomly left.

number five on the list of social outing invitiations you generally don't expect to receive:

scott whispers, "how would you like to go dog sledding? round the end of feburary."
You whisper, "uh." to hippie-freek scott.
scott whispers, "I'm quite serious"
cover hater scott whispers, "in ontario"
You whisper, "uh." to white dick, black chick scott.
To knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door scott: the fad king oppsie quickly looks over her list of things to do before she dies.
webporn scott whispers, "that's not the entheustaic "wow! that sounds like fun!" that I was hoping for"
You whisper, "this sounds strangely appealing." to perfectly normal scott.

posted at 12:19 AM

definitely the calm before the storm. adrenaline has been pumping since i set foot in the office this morning; assholes at studios aren't returning my calls, making me look incompetent (what's new?); my underwear is crawling up my butt so when i throw up it'll conveniently end up in the toilet; still no idea how this is going to work out. t-minus two hours. barf. i keep seesawing between full freak-out and total apathy. i need to find some happy medium where i can be coherent and bright and sunny and normal and human.

i need to calm. the. fuck. down.
posted at 1:16 PM

life just keeps getting better. tivo recorded saved by the bell for me, and it's the zack attack episode with casey kasem. w00t. "see, i know what it's like to be a fan -- i used to sneak into paula abdul's dressing room at least twice a week!"

kit kat is turning out really shitty. sigh. maybe i'll just go to bed and work on it at work.
posted at 11:50 PM

dinner was great. i mean, great. for some reason, i had an appetite like i haven't had in weeks, and i actually feel.. good. i don't feel like sleeping. i don't feel like jumping out the window. i feel.. okay. a lot less bleak. (is this just the calm before the storm tomorrow? hmm.) i had a piece and a half of cornbread, which was as always from the gods, a rib, a drumstick, and a stewart's rootbeer. the rootbeer might be the reason i'm feeling like a normal human - i've been working on drinking less coke/caffeine, and it really hit the spot tonight.

or maybe it's because i found out this guy is interning in the marketing department. i'm giddy! giddy with survivor glee! (i'm also going to stalk him. shh.)
posted at 7:39 PM

i just took a two-hour break from work to allay a fashion! emergency! (needed clothes for The Big Interview tomorrow afternoon, which i thought maybe i could get away with my decent pants but they're wrinkled beyond recognition thanks to me not unpacking my cancun suitcase yet) - got a nice pair of pants and some heeled black boots - and not a single email has come down from up on corporate high. i'm so unloved.

i've actually been productive today, which is good, although i left my half-written kit kat thing at home, which is bad, because i would have liked to have completed it. i blame it all on the indian food. but dinner tonight is virgil's, and virgil's means cornbread, and cornbread means bliss.

[jameswatch2k]: passed out around midnight thanks to my friend grand marnier, only to be awakened at 2a by a bass so low that i had to convince myself i wasn't having an auditory hallucination. i'm still not certain it was really there, but it was at a low enough frequency that even when i popped earplugs, i could still hear/sense it. eventually drifted back off but woke up every two hours for the rest of the night.
posted at 3:06 PM

it's really depressing to think about how the chair i'm sitting in right now cost nearly as much as one of my biweekly paychecks. we all have these fabulous seating utensils now. jury's still out on whether i prefer the old shitty chairs or the new fabulous chair; i have the sneaking suspicion that the new one doesn't promote poor posture, and that's a party platform i just can't get behind. slouching is an artform, and i'll not have my practice of it stymied by a piece of mesh-and-metal.

things i'd like to muse upon soon, so i don't forget: giving old dogs new names and top whatever albums of 2000.
posted at 5:55 PM

this randy travis thing is really sticking in my craw. i think after kit kats get pumped out (tonight, i swear), i'm going to rant about the repackaging of commercialism being worse than commercialism itself. like a copy of a copy of a copy. iterations of slimy corporate america, second-run movie theatres with sticky floors and pilled orange carpet, milking out that last dollar. vile.

(of course, i could just be embarrassed that i never realized just how xian rt's music really is and that i've been caught with my atheistic pants down, so to speak. but let's pretend that's not the motivation here, okay?)

finished snow crash, liked it very much right up until the end, at which point it took a nosedive into too much of a slam-bang finale. i'm a fan of up-in-the-airness as much as anyone - perhaps more so - but in this case it smacked of the easy way out, too neat, too fast, too tied-up and yet not. actually, forget the slam. just bang-bang-bang. it just seemed so.. improbable, and out of kilter with the rest of the book.
posted at 11:18 AM

amagansett was good. didn't do much other than read neal stephenson/snow crash, which i'm a bit embarrassed to admit i've never read before. i'm doing well in my self-imposed "read more books" initiative. i'd forgotten how much i liked to read, although it never feels as right as it does when i'm on our old living room couch, my mother cooking dinner and calling me repeatedly to set the table and me not hearing because i'm so absorbed in the words. it's strange to think that the only element of that memory that is still around is the couch -- dad finally replaced the kitchen table a few months ago. watched buzz lightyear of star command: the adventure begins with one eye three times; my cousin has the unfortunate habit of watching videos over and over and over again, in a row if at all possible. broke it up with mr. accident, which turned out to be pretty much what i expected although the bizarre twist at the end of inserting a moralistic judgment on both tobacco and genetically altered eggs was a bit of an absurdist surprise, though not as much as a surprise as my cousin's recognition of the movie's setting as sydney.

i'm supposed to be writing something for ironminds, but i can't be properly creative until i get the book out of my system. but i think i'm going to write about kit kats. the trick is going to be working in the ol' communion wafer/kit kat wafer theory. but they used to call me tricky kid, i lived the life they wished they did, lived the life, don't own a car and now they call me superstar.

this commercial for the "new" randy travis album pisses me off. few, if any, of these songs are new. now they're just thrown together to be part of randy's "inspirational journey." what the christ is this happy horseshit? forever and ever amen, my ass.

variety is just a font of entertainment tonight.
posted at 9:18 PM

i found my glasses! at long last, my gorgeous lenses of happiness have returned to me! rejoice! rejoice! rejoice!

(after tearing the house apart upon return from mexico and turning up zilch, it turns out they were zipped up inside my small duffle that zips into itself, which i last used back in october and had stored in my closet, unneeded until tonight. i am dumb, but at least now i can properly see how dumb i am.)

okay, back to packing.
posted at 7:43 PM

emails like this one from the managing editor to the entire staff make it all worth it, somehow.

From: xxxxx
Subject: Kicking ass

Starting right now, could we please all eschew the phrases "ass kicking," "butt kicking," "kick-ass," "kick-butt," etc...and all variants thereof, particularly in THIS WEEK'S COPY YOU NOW HAVE IN FRONT OF YOU. I'm tired of seeing these cliches. If you don't delete them, I'm gonna KICK BUTT BIGTIME. Thanks.

off to the hamptons for the weekend. i'll send my regards to alec and kim, of course.
posted at 7:36 PM

what's wrong with this sentence?

MTV executives said the campaign is prompted in part by the cable channel's own soul-searching over the part it played in Eminem's rise to rap prominence.

chart disaster looks like it's been averted, with e! totally saving my ass. whew.
posted at 3:29 PM

i went to the tibetan yak restaurant in jackson heights last night with dave and stinky. they do serve tibetan food, but yak is not on the menu. after we gringos walked in the proprietor put a tibetan propaganda videotape on the tv (turning off the rock vs kurt angle! the horror!) that contained a lot of monks. food was good, right up until i obliviously ate what i thought was a piece of zucchini but was really a very hot green chili. i thought i was going to vomit all over the table, but i managed to keep everything where it belonged and instead suffered with a horrible burning bile sensation in my stomach for the rest of the night. feeling pretty much okay now, though.

doing the data chart sucks. with each passing minute i'm looking more and more like a moron because the data i got isn't artable. dammit. this is so not the way to do things.
posted at 1:06 PM

when it snows in nyc, people park their cars on the street at a 45 degree angle to the curb. it looks so strange, the cars jutting out into traffic like pre-orthodontic teeth in a 12-year-old's mouth. the logistics of keeping the city running continue to mystify me.

sock saga, part c: i picked up my laundry tonight (as well as a loaf pan for banana bread, a 13x9 pyrex pan, and a cheapo collection of kitchen utensils like the spatula i've been wishing i had since i moved in, and some dish towels so i can stop drying my hands on the potholders when i do the dishes) and they did indeed clean my pants. they are now 99.5% ick-free, which is acceptable, i guess. i also decided the other laundromat is farther away and scarier, so i'm going to stick with ye old ipanema laundromat and take my chances.

i'd be dining on banana bread right now except the supermarket was closed by the time i finished getting the housewares. i probably won't be able to get ingredients tomorrow either (how can it be that i live here without having such basics as flour and sugar and eggs?) because i think i have another queens food sojourn with dave and stinky. so i should probably trash the bananas and get more next week and do it then. dammit. banana bread would have been good.

erin's verbal faux pas of the day, while explaining what the $treet was about: "it's like this big stockbroking place."
posted at 11:19 PM

sock saga, part deux: i took a load of sheets and towels to the laundromat this morning since i have resorted to drying off with a bathmat. i also took my light khaki carpenter pants, which have traces of the burning all over, and the aforementioned socks. i handed over the bag of dirties and then threw the socks and pants on the counter, pointing out "what's wrong with this picture?" it took about five minutes before the laundresses comprehended that the destruction of my socks was due to their incompetent usage of the holy dryer. this is the time where i start wishing i recalled more of my high school spanish (although i have yet to forget the S-O-C-K-S learn spanish radio commercial. how appropriate - eso si que es! see a loose light!), but eventually they understood that, yes, they were responsible. they recommended i throw out the socks (ha! i'll wear them as protest!) and then went to work on the pants with some sort of stain remover. i don't know. hopefully they'll fix the pants. i'll be annoyed if they don't, finding new pants is always such a challenge.

i think there's another laundromat at the other end of my block. i'll look into getting my laundry done there. damn you, landlord steve, why couldn't you have put a washer/dryer in the building?
posted at 11:31 AM

what did those idiots at the laundromat do to my sock?
posted at 12:18 AM

aloha, mr. hand.

maybe it's a good thing i didn't take growth hormone.

saddle creek has opened their new online store. go buy stuff from them. they don't sell gnr goodies, alas. (my informant at the show told me that mr. rose might have been hiding a bit of paunch, and although he wore sunglasses (not aviators) and had long hair, the trademark bandanna headband was absent.)

where's bill bonds when you need him?

<nar> You know
<nar> Arthur C. Clarke lives in Sri Lanka
<nar> I think it's because he fucks little boys.
<deathinc> doesnt that make him a beat writer
<nar> Beating the meat of young men.

posted at 10:41 PM

back in nyc, snowy home sweet home. took metro north from waterbury, which worked out nicely/cheaply. chef josh and amy were waiting to welcome me home, and hadn't destroyed my apt beyond fiddling with my tv color settings, which of course will probably drive me nuts until i become fabulously rich and buy a new one. but such is life. i forgive them because they plied me with food and drink; sadly, i probably won't eat anything today because they plied me with a wee bit too much. new year's resolution #464: stop drinking the night before first day of work week. it always ends badly.

didn't see the ball drop, on tv or otherwise (although if i'd been at work, i could have watched from my desk, since i've got a pretty rad times square view); scott and i were distracted as the countdown from 30 was beginning by what sounded like the hoofbeats of the four horsemen outside the window. turned out to be worcester's idea of fireworks, which was a good idea indeed. perfect, unobstructed view. very nicely done, and way better than being tethered to dick clark's dentures.
posted at 12:51 PM