i went downstairs to fetch my mail from the past week+ and james is down there shooting the shit with one of his compadres and they're both smoking cigs and i'm all convivial and shit and he's like 'haven't i been good the past week?' and i'm like 'i'm sure you were and that's great but i was out of town' and he starts guffawing and is all 'why didn't you tell me you was goin out of town!!' and 'sometimes i just gotta open it up, i just gotta' and i laughed and told him he should open it up and get it out of his system because i'm gone tonight to party elsewhere.

he told me to have a good time and drink in his honor and i almost said 'i'll pour one for you and for my homies' but i did not. however, he dispensed the following gem: "take a big slug for me cos i don't drink." which i guess means he has forsaken the drink for the phat blunt.

TAKE A BIG SLUG FOR ME COS I DON'T DRINK AND OTHER THINGS TOO UGLY TO MENTION.

heh.
posted at 4:32 PM

the flight in was good. i checked my bag curbside and tipped the guy with the $20 (had him give me $17 back), then waited an hour or so for the plane to board. window seat behind the exit row, nobody next to me, 1:02 flight time, no scares. unlike the flight miami->dtw yesterday, which we went standby on and didn't know until 10 seconds before if we were going on it for sure or not, after everyone else had boarded, and dad hands me the boarding pass and it's in the second to last row and that was it, i burst into tears and flipped out right then and there. dad seemed reasonably shaken by this response and a minute later i was put in the exit row, which leaves me to say why the fuck wasn't i put there in the first place if it was available? gah. and shelly refused me xanax after i foolishly told her i didn't think it helped that much on the way down. IDIOT ERIN. anyway the flight was terrible and bumpy and awful and i survived it somehow.

my cab home was a ford explorer cab, of which there are a smattering about the city, driven by a man named pierre who had a gimpy leg. pierre, although he did not seem to be french, took after stereotypical french people in that he was an ASSHOLE and missed the proper turn to get to my block and i told him where he needed to go and we got stuck in a little traffic and he started getting all hot and bothered and i'm like what the fuck you're still getting paid but i think he was probably a wee bit bitter that he had this big damn explorer and lonely me inside, and we get to my place finally and he purposely goes a little past it even though i told him to stop and i give him $20 on a $16 fare and he spitmutters "CHEAP" at me as i'm walking off. goddamn frogs. goddamn pierre.

off to ct. happy new year and all the other blah blah blah.
posted at 4:17 PM

pack pack pack. poo. my flight is at 135p. my laundry is clean thanks to shelly. and i am so fucking, fucking tired.
posted at 9:56 AM

back in black, feeling sad and exhausted, and it is too late to go to the pistons game, so all stress efforts are redoubled. crumb. will elaborate later. trip was good, though.
posted at 4:59 PM

again: 6a wakeup on three hours of a sleep so, so not cool. nor headache. nor running out of ibu.

good thing there is xanax inbound.

buhbye.
posted at 6:30 AM

so i'd say third time's a charm except that the first time was a charm, which means this is.. hmm.

well, this is good.

i really like my sister, and the little brother is fine, and the older little brother would be fine too if he could just get over the fact that not everything is an attack. but i think he will. someday. when i'm a deaf-mute.

see you all in a week. maybe.

"i don't take my skates off."
posted at 1:24 AM

vague achievement in the land of last minute. magical drugs, check. the amazing adventures of kavalier and clay, check. elliott smith/xo and portishead/dummy for sarah, no. extension cable for headphones, no. car wash, check. complete and utter panic in the car wash for reasons of claustrophobia and darkness and lack of control and fear of car destruction, check. new magical insurance card that gives me full coverage in both michigan and new york and anywhere else i may roam and $2 copay, check. remainder of other drugs that the pharmacy gave me an iou for (wtf?), check. travel soapdish, check. ugly hideous dork embarrassing disgusting acupressure wristbands that look like narsty sweatbands but i need them anyway so i don't get seasick and they'll cover up the scars should i ever decide to truly slit my wrists, check.
posted at 4:22 PM

pedicure+manicure+most awesome nail tech (is that the right term? sounds wrong. not that anything would sound right)==heaven on earth. sarah and i got our nails done, and her person was this chick named robin who is a few years older than me and went to wbloomfield and is married to some guy from berkley who is a few years older than me and we know a lot of the same people and she is hilarious and super. and my feet feel supreme.

the pistons do not feel supreme. sigh.

i have so much stuff left to do still and not enough time to do it in.

dad didn't get me a hanukkah present. as usual. and i know it sounds spoiled and petulant and stupid, but it really hurts my feelings that he couldn't even be bothered to go to the bookstore and get me a book. he gets me stuff all the time, i guess, but he doesn't get me stuff; the process of him getting me stuff is me buying things with his credit card, like a dress for the wedding. that doesn't really constitute a gift. it constitutes a patron.

all i want is the thought to count. i jokingly asked him where my present was, because i was secretly hoping he had gotten me something after all even though really i know better than that. and his response was "i'm taking you on a cruise."

there's no thought in that. i'd rather stay home.

gabe and i got them something. shelly got me something.

something into nothing.

also i really just do not appreciate every single person i know guilt tripping me for not having/making the time to see them. i am only here for a few days, i have so much shit to do and family obligations, and i'm sorry if i can't accomodate but that is just the way it is. also you forgot to wish me happy birthday and the way you treat me doesn't make it fun for me to be your friend and instead of standing there in your goddamn boxer shorts making me feel bad for not being able to keep up tentative lunch plans you should just suck it up and deal without pulling the bullshit you always pull which is fucking CRAP for all the times you've flaked out on me. and i'm still mad about the birthday thing. asshole.

"i'm dying to know
do you do you like dreaming of things
so impossible or only the practical
or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad, bad days
just to end them with someone you care about
and do you like making out
and long drives and brown eyes
and guys that just don't quite fit in
yeah, do you like them"

posted at 12:08 AM

the airport was INSANE. i can't believe how insane it was. darky flew on monday and had no trouble/lots of time to spare. the one time i don't get there three hours early.. but it worked out. lady luck was with me. i arrived at 815a and there were huge massive hideous lines at a) curb checkin b) counter checkin c) to walk through the metal detectors/security. because i am smart, i checked in online last night and had my boarding pass already, but i still had to check a bag. i waited in the curb line for about 15 minutes before i started looking inside and decided maybe i better take my chances in there because the e-ticket checkin didn't look quite as horrible as the curb, and the woman in front of me in the curbline was also e-ticket but hadn't checked in and i told her i'd come back and get her if it was faster inside, i promise i won't abandon you and blah blah blah and then i abandoned her because i am a heartless traveler and i am more important.

i had this huge foreign indian family to stand behind as well as some other characters in the e-ticket line and this old lady cut in front of me but because i was so exhausted i wasn't sure and thought maybe she had been there first after all and then i totally lucked out because this woman standing at a 'position closed' counter point called out if anybody was checking e-ticket bags and i said yes yes mememe!! and i gave her my bag and then set out for the awful security line, which i did not stand in because this official-looking woman was calling out if anybody had a 9a flight and i had a 917a so i was like 'i do!' because i am a heartless traveler and i am more important and i jumped the entire 200-odd person line and got through security in five minutes.

my plane started boarding right after i got to the gate. i had an aisle seat behind the exit row, next to a mom and her infant. she kept saying things like "no stinkies on the plane! we don't make stinkies on the plane!" and gurgling in babyspeke. i didn't mind all that much and in fact offered her my seat because i don't mind the middle that much and figured she'd be getting up to go to the bathroom a bunch anyhow. she declined, then asked the flight attendant if she could move to the exit row in front of us which was for some unknown reason completely empty even though the flight was allegedly oversold. you can't sit with a baby in the exit row.

the flight attendant asked me if i wanted to move up. which obviously i did. so i sat in the exit row, by the window, with no chairs in front of me, and nobody next to me, and there were no bumps in the flight, none at all, and i breathed without obstruction.
posted at 12:35 AM

yeah, so, i'm up, and yeah, so, it's early. i'm showered and dressed and mostly packed, all i really need to do are toiletries. i found my tevas hiding under some stuff in my big closet. the car is coming in an hour. if it comes. i have my doubts.

poo on 3 hours of sleep.
posted at 6:52 AM

[jameswatch2k]: goddamn goddamn GODDAMN him ALL TO HELL. i just finished all the packing i'm doing tonight (where are my tevas?) and i went down there and it is fucking on and if i can still hear it after i turn the fan on i am so ringing his goddamn fucking shitass doorbell.

god i hate him so much.

he probably stole my tevas. gah.
posted at 2:20 AM

guess what jill and i are doing january 7, a mere 19 days from now? that's right, sitting in the inaugural audience of carson daly's new late night talk show!!! i can hardly wait!!!!!!!

this should be ripe for humor. if only the first guest turns out to be jewel..

You exclaim, "jill just got tickets for us to go to the new carson daly late night show!"
the farfled oppsie SO EXCITED.
the claire danes oscar nomination! oppsie going to wear BRITNEY TSHIRT and JUSTIN UNDERWEAR and make carson sign them both!
amish scott [to oppsie]: have I told you recently that you frighten me?
the corporate cloud oppsie [to scott]: i was joking.
scott [to oppsie]: that doesn't change the fact that you frighten me.

posted at 11:09 AM

goddamn you pistons, GODDAMN YOU TO HELL.

sigh. that was such a good game. except for the outcome.

i should have been asleep hours ago. i should have been producing hours ago.

another night gone to the television. somebody unplug me. thanks.

ps i give hollywood five more minutes to option this.

"and true love waits"
posted at 12:49 AM

i am so frozen by my inability to do anything that i am unable to do anything about it and the more i dwell on that the more i know i have to make a change and my heart is screaming out of my chest and my eyes are clawing out of their sockets and i am so tired of having an empty head and of feeling like nothing good will ever come out of my fingers again.

i have to write, or write about, and i have to stop feeling like i don't know how.

i have to stop listening to faux-heartbroken boys with guitars sing me into submission.

the life vicarious.

herbie the elf who does not want to be a dentist is actually hermey the elf who does not want to be a dentist. gee, i just love my job.

(i hate my job.)

"i'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where i would impress you
with every single word i said
would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming
and you'd want to call me
i would be there every time you need me
i'd be there every time
but for now i'll look so longingly
waiting
for you to want me
for you to need me
for you to notice
me"
posted at 3:49 PM

finally made it off the couch. it was do or die, so i put together the four shelf plus top shelving unit that y and i got this summer as part of the $40 purchase. it's between my disco'd radiator and the tv. it is very tall, coming up to about an inch beneath my muppets poster mounted on the wall. i think it's upsetting the feng shui of my living room, what little of it there is. i put all my dvds on it - they take up two whole shelves - but i think i might reduce the number of shelves by one so that wall isn't so claustrophobic. there'll still be plenty of room.

movement.

also i got hungry and ate cheerios. go figure.

oppsie1: http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/12/17/gen.war.against.terror/index.html
oppsie1: the second graf quote is to die for
oppsie1: "Stufflebeem then ran around screeching "halalalalalallalalala" in falsetto and mumbled something about "those dirty camelfuckers.""
oppsie1: actually i can't decide which is better, what he said or his surname.
MtLionInCT: i love that his name is stufflebeem
MtLionInCT: it is so fucking classic
oppsie1: you just know he was gritting his teeth while he said that because he wanted to say something totally racist and incendiary.
MtLionInCT: yeah i know
oppsie1: stufflebeem
MtLionInCT: these pentagon guys just want to go off...you can almost tell what they want to say
oppsie1: snuffleupagus
MtLionInCT: exactly
oppsie1: my god, subtext is everywhere
MtLionInCT: ?
oppsie1: philly sixers announcer: "i think it's obvious that this game is going to be won on the boards."
MtLionInCT: ok....
oppsie1: translation: both teams can't hit a basket to save their life.

posted at 10:41 PM

there is still no food in my apt except cheerios and peanutbutter and i'm not hungry but all i want to do is eat. not to fill my stomach, but just to go through the process of consuming and ingesting and chewing and swallowing. yet my stomach is quiet and uncomplaining, so i feel like, why should i give in and eat the cheerios? i think it's just that i'm bored and can't disconnect myself from my couch except to go to the bathroom. the last time i moved was over an hour ago, when i shut the window.

i disgust myself.

sometimes i get obsessed with parts of me. usually it's my right bicep, because it's like the only muscle i have through some mysterious source. today it's my wrists, on the outsides where that ball of bone sits under the skin like a marble. or a glass eye. or a particularly hard tumor. the right one especially. i don't really know why they've caught my attention. it's not like they've become any more or less prominent. my body weight hasn't changed since i went to college.

but there they are, a good inch in diameter, serving as a sentry patrolling for errant capillaries between hand and forearm. i'm not a bony person. you wouldn't notice them if i shook your hand with my favored firm grip so that in case you didn't understand from my wardrobe and demeanor, my handshake will tell you that i am not some little girly princess who sits at home sighing about being homecoming queen. you wouldn't look at me and think "that girl should eat some cheerios and peanutbutter before she wastes away." so maybe it's that when i find something so close to the surface, something that juts out just a bit so that only i know it's there, like it's my little skeletal secret, i return to it again and again. like checking over my shoulder every five paces when i walk from the subway to my building late at night.

i am my own knitting circle of osteo.

oppsie1: my grandmother just informed me i'm going to lunch with her halfsister and her husband and their nephew who is film crit for the magazine the nation.
wingsil: ooh.
oppsie1: and i am frightened, because i feel like i've forgotten how to crit.
oppsie1: i'll trot out my itb/tsh thesis and then sit there like an idiot six year old.
wingsil: when it doubt, look thoughtful.
oppsie1: i'll probably end up looking constipated. that's how things go.
oppsie1: at least now i have something to talk about with the shrink on wednesday! i was nervousing about it earlier today.
wingsil: there's something pathological about being anxious about going to the shrink :-)
oppsie1: there are a lot of things pathological about me.
wingsil: i've noticed!

posted at 8:33 PM

i just emptied ten lbs of magazines and credit card offers out of my po box. i think it's time to retire it since i get nothing but magazines i now don't read since i hardly ever pick them up and snail spam. i changed my mag subscriptions a few minutes ago. feh.

and my kwik meal #5 chicken pita was less than.

and the water cooler is water-less and my throat is parched like the gobi.

on the plus side, i have zero work to do today, so i just read the entire list of nba draft picks in the 1980s, when in many of the years there were seven rounds. that's a lot of picks. and tom and drew are getting divorced. hahahahahaha.

so if gwb has lesions that are "pre-cancerous," what exactly does that mean? could i cut off my left breast and term it "pre-cancerous"? i mean, wtf.

(is that like pre-death?)

"and the phone is always dead to me
so i can't tell you the temperature is dropping
and it feels like
it's colder than it ought to be in march
and i still got a day or two ahead of me
til i'll be heading home into your arms again
and the people here are asking after you
it doesn't make it easier
it doesn't make it easier to be away"
posted at 4:14 PM

high comedy in celeb news today. first off, if this is what she looked like before she started gobbling painkillers and stealing stuff, i think i wouldn't have even let her in the store so she could do the damage.

last night fmc ran this 1937 jimmy stewart/simone simon movie, seventh heaven. it could possible be the most unintentionally comic movie ever made. jimmy is a "cynical sewer worker" named CHICO who is also an ATHEIST and has THE MAN in his pants, only to be let out when he meets this french hooer named diane except since everyone except jimmy has a french accent or euro accent of some variety (such as the random man who climbs in their window looking like dr mabuse sans beard) it sounds like they're saying 'dienne' which i translated as 'the end' for about half an hour before i realized my error. but beyond that the movie is truly, truly hilarious. i set tivo to grab it when it replays on xmas so i can dump it to tape and save it forever ever.

huh, simone simon is still alive.

and this is by far the best candidate for funniest sentence ever to appear in daily variety:

The MTV Films/Paramount feature marked the first screen vehicle for ``Dawson's Creek (news - Y! TV)'' star James Van Der Beek and also launched the screen careers of Paul Walker (''The Fast and the Furious'') and Scott Caan (''Ocean's Eleven'').

posted at 11:02 AM

bn.com! bn.com! bn.com! my new savior! tomorrow i will return all the shit i bought at virginmega this afternoon since i just saved >$20 buying it online. i saved so much money that i allowed myself to actually buy stuff just for me, which i never do. mmm. legit scams.

too bad the pistons fucking blew it. disgusting.

peter is stealing my itb/tsh idea for something he's writing for moviefone. that's okay though. unless he is praised as an og original genius and gets some fabulous job writing crit somewhere all on my dime, and i languish here in obscurity noodling at vague concepts and glory.

don't buy that shitty $80 apex dvd player that best buy et al are advertising. i went over to jill's earlier tonight to set hers up and watch a movie and it was doa out of the box. bastards.
posted at 11:52 PM

so that pretty much sucked. not the dim sum with darky and his gf, that was pretty cool and they were good and brave about eating things which is always impressive with first-timers, but the movie attempt. the royal tenenbaums is sold out everywhere on earth, and some places where it's not even playing if moviefone is to be believed. bah.

at least the pistons are winning, even if i'm not at the game.

and i got some necessary gifts for others.
posted at 3:45 PM

[jameswatch2k]: is it too primadonna to be raging pissed at being woken up at 9a on a sunday?
posted at 9:24 AM

my day was offensively busy. haircut, then teneza took me shopping. here is what's good about shopping with teneza: she knows where to go, she knows what i should try on, and since she works at kenneth cole she gets a 40% discount at like ten different places including laundry, whose stuff fits me really well. so i got like $330 worth of clothes for $200. that is fucking ridiculous. then we found some great shoes that were 50% off from $140. then she forced me to buy some makeup that i will never wear. then she forced me to eat a brownie with ice cream on top. then i finally got in touch with jill down in the subway and went to her place instead of my place and modeled the clothes for her and she was suitably impressed and then we went to the angelika.

at the angelika, the 750p showing of amelie was sold out. that's the showing we needed to see in order to then sneak in to in the bedroom, thus cutting our per movie ticket price to $5. but! there was a random guy selling a lone ticket to that showing, so we bought it and then i bought a ticket to no man's land that was starting at 745p and assured jill that if we could not both get in to amelie i would suck it up and take a bosnian hit for the team. thankfully, the security at the angelika has not changed a bit and not only did i get into amelie with no problem, we then watched in the bedroom and the only problem was this strange crazy man who walked in late and left early and seemed like perhaps he might have been mrscott except he was the size of orson welles and kept rubbing his hands together and talking to himself, whereas mrscott would probably smoke 48 cigarettes and prepare some ice tea.

sneaking into movies makes me feel alive.

it's amazing how off-by-degrees alike itb and tsh are. the differences of grieving; the politics of blame. how do you do that when there's no one there to put the blame on? or how do you do that when there is? how is the process changed by something so simple as a tangible enemy? they provide a fascinating counterpoint to each other, a tandem of realism. a pair. an ordered set.

fraternal twins.
posted at 1:16 AM

jill called frantic at 1030p because she forgot she had jury duty monday morning and now couldn't postpone it or avoid it or tell her temp job the truth and she was all in a tizzy and i was laughing my ass off and she ranted and raved for two hours on the phone and it was hilarious and then we hung up.

she called back 15 minutes later to say she hadn't listened to the message all the way through on the jury hotline and it turns out you can postpone it with a touchtone phone.

hahahahaha.

[jameswatch2k]: i'm so tired i can't see straight, i stand down there outside his door rubbing my eyes praying he's not going to come out in a haze of bluntsmoke and smite me. but he doesn't. he just shouts back in response to the ringing of the doorbell, "oh, i'll turn it down!" and doesn't even open the door. so i yell "thanks james" and trudge back upstairs and it's kind of quiet so i'll go pass out now.
posted at 1:26 AM

the headphones have arrived after traveling halfway round the world to land snug in my ears. they fit and they sound great and they are here and they are good. they also came in some amusing japanese mail packaging that i will take a picture of and display for all the world to see at some point in the near future, like when i remember.
posted at 4:05 PM

do you ever wish that you were someone else? or just that you had their talent for doing something? because it's become painfully obvious that you don't? i mean, maybe you have your own talent, but you don't even know what that is anymore, and if you did, you're not sure you still know how to use it. or if you ever did.

eggs in one basket.

well, goddamn.

"i have to say i am a great fan of triangles."
posted at 12:44 AM

there has not been a celebrity scandal this good since anne heche/celestia. i can't wait to see what kind of fallout rains down from hollywood valhalla. noni on talk shows admitting her "problem"? a weekend at a tony klepto rehab clinic? pal pirner telling the latimes: "i guess the warning signs were there, but i just never put it all together. i mean, stuff goes missing from my house all the time. i always thought it was the maid."

or was it research for her upcoming guest shot on nypd? method acting! yeah, that's the ticket.

ps winnie, don't go passing this off as a hardship case (i know you've had a few flops lately) because you posted the $20k bail, dear.

missfranzman: so what do you think winona ryder was trying to steal from Saks?
missfranzman: she was charged with grand theft, so i'm guessing that's, like, more than $5000 or something?
oppsie1: yeah i was just peeing myself
oppsie1: maybe she tried to steal a fur, because that sounds like her mo to me. snort.
missfranzman: i was gonna guess jewelry
missfranzman: small, easy to pocket
missfranzman: although i'd love to find out she'd tried to stuff more than 5 grand of lipsticks in her pockets
missfranzman: ah... just got a different report-- "numerous" pieces of clothing
missfranzman: "no, honestly, officer, miuccia said i could borrow these"
oppsie1: "winona, have you been loading up on carbs lately? you look so.. voluptuous and non-waif-like?"
oppsie1: "YES I'VE BEEN EATING A LOT I DEFINITELY AM NOT STEALING NUMEROUS PIECES OF CLOTHING"
missfranzman: well that's good to hear, dear. i loved you in "Lost Souls"

posted at 5:52 PM

work is slowly sucking out my will to live and sapping all my already-barelythere creative energy. and now i have a 5lb pile of benefits lit to drag home and try to parse in case they offer me fulltime and i accept.

if i work here i will never write another screenplay as long as i am working here because i drag myself home every day exhausted and zombied, and i won't even get paid overtime for it.

good thing there are kind souls like sheri and jeremie who want to save me.

yeah. i am loved.

P J Debruge: http://aol.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,9249,00.html
oppsie1: oh my god that is RICH
P J Debruge: I wonder if I would give up my illegal shenanigans if I were famous.
oppsie1: that's strange you use that word, i just used it earlier today.
P J Debruge: yes, but can you spell it?
oppsie1: i used it on the online
oppsie1: i'm so ahead of the curve
oppsie1: i'm VOCABULARY FORWARD

"oh ramona, if there was only something between us"
posted at 5:09 PM

so here's what happened: dad is getting me these new headphones for my birthday because i am in desperate need of new cans, and like the cheap bastard he/i is/am, when he asked if i knew of a place cheaper than minidisco to get them, i found myself powerless to conceal that i did. so to save eight lousy dollars, i had him get them from this other place. only i neglected to notice that they would be shipping them from JAPAN. that's right, JAPAN. as in, HAVE TO CLEAR CUSTOMS. as in, SLOW ASS MAIL ON SLOW ASS BOAT FROM JAPAN. as in, i could have just said no and he would have gotten them stateside and i would have had them in three days.

now i'm watching this crazy japanese mailing tracking system in extreme pain, because i know that just to twist that knife a little more they will not arrive here by wednesday, which means i will not have them for my upcoming vacation. yes, i could just use my current headphones, but the bass in the right ear is fux0red.

moron.

(useful! informative! fun! these are all terms to describe a SLOW ASS BOAT FROM JAPAN, are they not?)

more moron: we watched pressure at jill and allison's tonight and i spent the entire time writhing in pain and self-hatred because we could not watch it on my good tape since it no longer exists.
posted at 11:57 PM

moron moron moron MORON MORON MORON MORON.

how is it that i keep doing this to myself?
posted at 9:59 PM

my ceiling is fixed. hurrah.

now for the rest of me.
posted at 9:18 PM

tvguide is nothing but comedy for the past 24 hours, if you ignore the GIANT CESSPIT OF CRAP that has been dumped on me.

exhibit a:

From: TL/tvg helpdesk
To: All

There is currently a power outage at TV Guide's Hollywood Center Facility. The outage covers the entire block surrounding the building. E-mail and voice mail communications are both unavailable. The telephone system will be operational until battery back-up is depleted or power is restored. The cause of the outage is unknown at this time. Notification will be given as soon as further information is available and/or power is restored.

exhibit b:

From: TL/tvg delpdesk
To: All

A power grid overload is the cause of the TV Guide Hollywood Center outage. Preparations for tonight's world premiere of "Vanilla Sky" at Mann's Theater caused the overload.

The Los Angeles Department of Water and Power has indicated the outage duration will be "several hours."

As soon as power is restored, Hollywood Center infrastructure systems will be restarted.

exhibit c:

From: TL/tvg Hollywood
To: All

Due to the power outages in the Hollywood office, an external disk array attached to the Hollywood email server has failed to come back online. It has been determined that the array will need service from Compaq. Compaq has been contacted and is dispatching to the office according to our 4-hour response contract. Incoming email will be queued on other email servers and will be delivered when the server is available.

Please contact the Help Desk with questions or concerns.

exhibit d:
three separate calls are placed to the helpdesk regarding the printer that stephijo munged yesterday. (i did what i could to save it but didn't have the proper tools.) nobody comes to fix it until today.

RESOLUTION ACTION NOTES

Datetime: Dec 11 2001 9:26:01:957A
Note :
Stephanie Kxxxx - 4th floor, Research printer hp laserjet 5000, paper stuck in it. jammed. Edit4-b6Datetime: Dec 11 2001 9:42:48:110A
Note :
Erin Podolsky Called about printer
Laura Cxxxx called aobut printer.Datetime: Dec 11 2001 1:22:41:783P
Note :
small piece of paper was stuck in the printer, I removed it using needle-nose pliers and it works fine now.

exhibit e:
149p: i order "quick sauteed fresh sliced pork" from grand sichuan on 50/9, the only place i will consider ordering delivery chinese from because they have an extensive menu of sichuan, cantonese and shanghai dishes, and sandwiched in at the end is an ugly "american chinese food" list that is easy to ignore.

202p: i receive a call from downstairs that the food has arrived. this seems highly sketchy given that 11 minutes have elapsed since i placed the order, and i'm a medium distance away from the restaurant.

216p: open food and begin eating it. it does not look like i imagined "quick sauteed fresh sliced pork" to look. it looks like "soggy breaded thin sliced chicken with spinach and broccoli stalks," which is not on the grand sichuan menu as far as i can tell. i eat it anyway because i am confused and hungry. it is very salty. it is not very spicy, which the dish i ordered is supposed to be, even though i asked them to tone down the heat a bit. i eat a third of this mystery food, all the while wondering if i have the wrong food or the right food or if i'm stuck with it or if i should call them.

219p: i receive another call from downstairs that food has arrived. huh? i deduce that, yes, i was given the wrong food and yes, i will be getting the right foot shortly, and i hastily put the mystery dish back in its plastic container and bring it downstairs with me.

220p: i look around the lobby for the delivery guy and do not see him, then notice him waving frantically through the window while trying to light a marlboro. i go outside and trade bags with him, trying to convey that i ate some of the food and he should probably not deliver it to anybody else. i am unsure if he comprehends.

223p: i return to my cube and open the new bag, which contains what i imagined "quick sauteed fresh sliced pork" to look like. it is delicious and spicy and not salty and not "soggy breaded thin sliced chicken with spinach and broccoli stalks." unfortunately, i am not hungry enough to eat more than a few bites. lunch tomorrow!

exhibit f:

From: Research Editor Michael
To: All

There is a new Library folder on the server which contains indexes for most of the books in the library. The lists are not complete but a critical mass of indexing is now available to be a useful tool. The categories are: TV Shows, Film, Biographies, TV Industry, Sports, Music, Magazines and General Reference. In order to protect the sanctity of the indexes, they are in a read-only format: When you open any of the indexes, you will have to choose a read-only option from a pop-up window. (Unless of course you have the password, which you don't. And won't.) If you notice any mistakes on the list, please email me.

The books are also organized on the bookshelves under the same index categories. I have discovered a new technology I like to call "yellow stickies," which, once labeled, actually "stick" to the shelves to help guide you to the right books. And please do not reshelve any books. A cart-thing is available near the library door for any books you've used. Some persons who have reshelved books have a new and different idea about what order the alphabet is in, but I guess I'm just old school.

To maintain the integrity of the library holdings, we will be working with the Rumsfield 2002 Book Detect-O-Meter. It will track all of the library holdings as they move about building. If you keep a library holding for an inordinate amount of time, the heat core of the holding will gradually increase until it is too hot to pick up and a central library holdings computer will be alerted. If you attempt to leave the building with a library holding, your holdings vocal core will start yelling "Thief! Thief!". The Rumsfield 2002 may or may not be installled, and it may or may not work.

stop the madness.

ps i have no job in january unless something gives at tvg.

ps i'm not sure i care all that much.

ps i don't know if i'd accept it if something gives.

ps i'm sick of staring at dead people. all these dead celebs from 2001 and at this point i couldn't care less.

ps talking about dead people is awkward and difficult when the person you're talking to doesn't think they're dead and you don't know how to correct their false impression.

from: jill
to: erin

maybe the woman with the chai from starbucks works in your building and ordered the soggy chicken surprise.

posted at 2:40 PM

this would be the most insane, psychotic, hilarious plan ever: fly into la saturday night and out monday afternoon, with the pistons-clippers game in between on sunday. FOR $200 DOLLARS, IN BUSINESS ELITE.

this is when you're glad you have a friend who works for an airline.

this is when you realize you are fucking insane.

oh man. this just might work.

ps nba.com's upcoming mediacentral, which i just took a sneak peek at, is already making me pee just thinking about how much better it's going to make my life when it goes live.

that is all.
posted at 6:23 PM

today is just wrecking me. the dead people just keep on coming. and i have to write 2000 words on jerry stackhouse by jan 4. and there are no games for me to go to before then. and i am in way over my head.
posted at 4:47 PM

so here is why this morning sucks:

- landlord steve did not return my ceiling phone call
- my door is covered with fine white dust from the reno across the hall, which i did not realize until i let the door slam behind me before locking it as i left, kicking up a sandstorm and covering me inside and out with crap
- the tvguide network is hosed and i can't get to my email or do any work
- i had a nightmare about driving a stick shift station wagon borrowed from morrow in africa and falling down a rope-walled tube
- there's an ebola outbreak in africa
- the hot boy on the subway didn't look at me, possibly because of my second morning complaint, but probably not
- i'm hungry
- i'm breathing
posted at 10:55 AM

the apartment directly across the street from mine has put up christmas lights. or, christmas light, to be more specific: a small, foot-or-so in diameter circle of orangey-red lights with a lit-up jesus in the middle, casting his benevolence and forgiveness and sacrifice all over lower harlem, or at least my block. it flashes on and off, and every time i see it out of the corner of my eye i briefly wonder if it's a "don't walk" sign - it flashes at the same frequency and is the exact same color. a jesus warning. perhaps i'll put up a blinking star of david in response, and they'll think it's a complementary "walk" signal.

i didn't notice the decoration until i went to the bathroom upon returning home from latkes in connecticut (mmm latkes. mmm ct). that's because there's a clean line of sight from my bathroom to my bedroom to my living room to my window to the apartment across the way, and now their jesus lights. i know this because i live alone, and one of the perks of living alone is that you can evacuate your system without having to close the door. so i don't. ever. and sometimes i look past the 20 foot expanse of my apartment from bathroom to window and wonder if maybe the across-the-street dwellers are watching me. probably not; i keep my shade pulled down low, leaving only about 24 inches of window exposed. perfect height for toilet gazing on my end, a bit more difficult for would-be voyeurs.

now i'm watched by a magic blinking jesus, and isn't that so much more comforting?
posted at 11:27 PM

my ceiling is caving in. there's been a faint straight line, about two feet long, beneath (above?) the paint for a while now. more than a month, i think. not a crack, just a visible swipe of.. something. i got home a little while ago after 4 eps of mscl with allison and jill (and a miserable shopping day; perhaps i need to enlist teneza), looked up while i sat on the couch watching sportscenter, and the line had morphed. it's grown an unperfect conical tumor that looks like it descends about two inches towards the floor and is four inches diameted on the short cross and six inches on the long cross.

landlord steve has been duly notified. i've pushed the couch as far away as possible but i still don't think it's out of the line of fire. i should purchase a dropcloth.

feh.
posted at 1:32 AM

it's been suspiciously silent all morning. i fear what this portends. nothing good, i'm sure.

jill and i talked on the phone for nearly two hours last night. it reminds me just how far i've come in my antiantisocialness, my antiantirelationshipness, my antiantigirlness. this would not have happened ten years ago, or five years ago. three years ago, yes; i did this with sassie, and that was perhaps when the change happened. when the phone was no longer an enemy to be treated with dubiousness and disdain, but a connection.

last night's once and again episode was perhaps the most perfect thus far. i was nervous watching it, crawling the walls the entire time, my eyes and ears trying to burrow back inside my head so they didn't have to experience the exquisite pain that is television. this is how i view perfection: as scary. frightening. panic flowing through my veins. because something so perfect exists; because something so perfect makes me feel things i might not be prepared to feel, see things i might not be expecting. there is understanding, and love, and jealousy. tv translates to fear response.

i am adrenalized just writing this, thinking this, moving it from conceptualization to keyboard. and sad. where's my real life? what's in there for me, other than give and take on the same side of the glass instead of just take, like a vampire who drinks blood and then discards his prey, fulfilled yet not?

perfection brings awe, and such sweet, sweet pain, and to wean me from it you will have to pull a ewan/trainspotting and even that will not work. EMP, maybe, would be successful.

but probably not.

csasst2001: holy crap i have to have sex right now
csasst2001: holy
csasst2001: jeezus
oppsie1: you are so 16, it is hilarious
csasst2001: i know
oppsie1: you should bottle yourself
csasst2001: my junk is all "WTF, where's the vagina"
oppsie1: "spencer fly"
csasst2001: hahahahahahahha
csasst2001: hahahahahahahahah
csasst2001: if i had photoshop skills i'd make a bottle of that
oppsie1: that would be sweet
oppsie1: you'd be looking all 'come hither'
oppsie1: i feel this could make many dollars
csasst2001: yeah
csasst2001: make it happen
csasst2001: does your woman "have a headache". Are all the girls "washing their hair". Do you have a problem attracting the opposite sex? Well just slip some Spencer-Fly their way.
csasst2001: we've bottled the awesome power of Spencer's sex drive
oppsie1: in this easy-access travel pack
oppsie1: buy one for you - or buy one for the whole family!
oppsie1: FLY IS FUN FOR EVERYONE
csasst2001: hahahahah
csasst2001: before: (picture of a lonely guy eating alone)
oppsie1: CUM IS FUN FOR EVERYONE
csasst2001: after: (picture of my dick in a girls mouth)
oppsie1: or: guy eating pussy
oppsie1: oh wait
oppsie1: it could be your head cropped on his body in the same picture except now there's pussy on his plate instead of a sad-looking steak or something
csasst2001: hahahahahhaaahahah
csasst2001: that is the one
oppsie1: by golly we might be onto something here
oppsie1: quick, call larry flynt!
csasst2001: hahahah
csasst2001: do it
csasst2001: u work in teh media
oppsie1: i'll just slip it into tvguide
csasst2001: yeah
oppsie1: use a little fly to ease it in there
oppsie1: put it in the insider section
csasst2001: but seriously folks. i really want to have sex right now!!!
oppsie1: retitle it "insideher"

"do you want to get spontaneous with me, baldwin?"
posted at 11:43 AM

because there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a part of a family from closer than afar, and don't you try to tell me it's wrong.

this is what's important.

nothing isn't fixable.

and you don't know what you're talking about.
posted at 1:25 AM

right so. do i have a job in the new year? at tvguide? turns out.. i don't know. there was a meeting today that i wasn't invited to, and i asked robin what the status was on me for january, if i was coming back and she was like "i don't know yet. do you want to come back?" and i gave a tentative yes and she was like "you don't sound too sure" so i said "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME COME BACK ROBIN PRETTY PLEASE" and then we laughed and then i left. supposedly we will discuss tomorrow.

and i don't know what i'm going to do with myself jobwise if i don't get renewed or offered a permanent position. i just do not have the energy or motivation to deal with finding a new job. there are no new jobs. this is a dead city.

a city full of death.

and in a corner of my gut, there is the tumor growing faster than cancer, sending out a whisper of malice that says maybe this is not such a bad thing.

that if i don't have a job, i don't have a reason to stay here.

that if i don't have a job, i should just call it fate and pack it up and go to detroit.

that after the collapse of onmag, this is a second sign, and signs shouldn't necessarily be ignored.

that that that.

i spend every second of in-transit listening to buffy sdtk, trying not to burst into tears on the subway.

would anyone even notice if i did?

"this isn't real
but i just want to feel"
posted at 11:53 PM

plov plov plov. gan eden plov is very greasy and very good, and i think it might fuck up my intestines very much. we shall see how the day plays out. i took jeremie there and it was good and greasy.

i need to learn some russian so they like me better in there. i said 'spasiba' today and the lady got very excited and said something back that i didn't understand but assume was along the lines of 'you're welcome.' or it could have been 'you stupid hooer who doesn't know russian pretending to know russian.' or maybe 'please wax my back.'

i just attempted to drink from my water bottle with the cap still on, which i didn't realize until i noticed it felt odd against my lips. time for red bull.

steve took a stealth picture of dennis quaid last night. i concur with my mother, he is very cute. still.
posted at 1:53 PM

things i need to stop doing to myself: staying up past 2a for no reason. BAD.

(woke up at 6a with splitting headache, ate ibu, went back to sleep; dreamed of a man-eating, small killer ray that swish-swish-swept across the floor instead of in water, devouring anything in its path and lurking under the couch. and of a slow-moving roller coaster that at its apex offered a view of ground zero, and beyond that a stack of rotting bodies on the western edge of the city, and my cousin didn't want to go on and see that. and of living in a dangerous place, and an unfunctional leg, and david trying to save me. and of moving home.)
posted at 8:54 AM

i am home. i have a working nic. i had sushi a bunch of times today. i went to connecticut. i saw x and sv and e and i and that was fab. i almost stayed overnight. but now i am home.

the shampoo sitch is dire. i've been needing to go to the drugstore for like a month, and i am just too fucking lazy and tired after work. gah, work. no time for anything else.

"still my friends don't know why i ignore
the million things or more
i should be dancing for"
posted at 12:48 AM

morrow's farewell drinking escapade was last night. now i'm kind of hungover. and i was worried it would not be fun and i would feel weird around non-morrow people but really it was completely fine and i knew everybody and people knew me and talked to me and i talked back and we had conversation and towm and i screamed over the table blissful bliss about buffy's perfection and i had a great time. plus morrow and i came up with a genius malcolm idea.

also apparently will leitch thought for a very long time that i was a born again, and perhaps still does. uh, what? i don't know either. i went over my email archives and read every message i ever sent him, and never did i intimate that christ was my personal savior. maybe i cracked a joke that will didn't properly parse at some shindig or another. this is highly amusing, though.

mr fabulous and i spoke on the phone last evening as well.

he is so ridiculously fabulous, it is criminal.

he is in la, substitute teaching, sending out specs, has an agent, writing with anderson, god i hate him, and how everything will fall into place for him, and how he is creative and full of ideas and lines and fabulousness. and i am not. i sit around moping, idealess, writing this useless bullshit that is really just dressed up mrscott.

and god i want to go to la.

(but i don't know if i really want to go, or if i just think i do. i think i just want to go somewhere else, and whenever i talk to somebody who is somewhere else, it makes me want to go there. i am changeable because i am unhappy no matter what, but i am unable to take the leap and make the change because i am so afraid of making a mistake. and everything shouldn't be so black and white. changes are not undoable. but i am colorblind. i am grayblind.)

a 6-12 month pit stop in detroit. and then onward, somewhere.

but where? how?

why?

heller says, "you know what i'm expecting to see. . .a "rental" type setup with them. kinda like those airport cart rentals. . ."
the nifty rebrane [to heller]: i'm envisioning them being very popular on golf courses and at disneyland (in the rental form you describe)
the nifty rebrane says, "i bet they're going to make their foothold in asia, too.. when you think "personal transportation robot" what country immediately springs to mind"
darky [to rebrane]: afghanistan.

posted at 4:34 PM

news of the day: i have seen the secret ingredient in the kwik meal #5 chicken pita that makes it so damn good, and the secret ingredient is kraft italian dressing.

while i was watching sportscenter this morning i managed to dump my laptop on the floor. it landed on its right side, smack on the network dongle, crushing it in further than it was meant to go and munging the onboard nic. it might be salvageable if i find a small enough, sturdy enough pair of tweezers to try to pull the male contact back out. in the meantime, i went to staples and spent $50 on a pc card nic. i can return it open box within 14 days for a full refund, so hopefully i can fix the onboard nic and not have to lay out this cash permanently.

the pistons are out west when i am in detroit in a few weeks. that is crummy. they're briefly home to play miami on 12/30, but i probably won't be back in time for it from the caribb. but i think i'll ask for press creds anyway, just in case. can't hurt.

the word of the day is fugleman.

fu.gle.man \'fyu:-g*l-m*n\ n [modif. of G flu:gelmann, fr. flu:gel wing +
mann man] 1: a trained soldier formerly posted in front of a line of men at
drill to serve as a model in their exercises 2: one who heads a group;
specif : a political manager

posted at 12:19 PM

the next installment of nba trivia has been crushed into pulp under the wily cogs of my brain. do you know who the whopper was? i do. do you know how many times don nelson has been tossed? i do.

getting out of work before 7p is highly unfamiliar. and it's warm out. so i went to rock center to see the giant christmas tree, which was strung with rwb lights and was smaller than i expected it to be. was it bigger last year? i can't remember. i alternated my gaze between the tree and the ice skaters below, slowly ate a mushroom/mozzarella crepe i got from a cart i'd never seen before that makes fresh crepes while you wait, and while it's never truly nightdark in nyc, it is better to see such things at night, lit by artificial filaments rather than smogged sunlight reflecting and refracting off buildingpanes. somehow night is more real, even when it's edging on day-for-night.

after eating the crepe and ruing the choice, as i seem to do with anything that is not sushi or chinatown or gan eden, i walked to saks and took in the xmas display windows. they're not very exciting this year. last year i didn't get to see them; the one time i ended up over there, it was close to christmas and you couldn't even navigate the sidewalks, let alone the window line. but tonight it was only 20 people deep, and it was warm out, and early, and dark, so i stepped in with laughing couples and polish-speaking tourists and marched to the beat of the evil pepsi girl's narration of some pap story about "the little tree" and "the little girl" and "the little boy" and "the little big city" and "the little bag of erin's vomit". the irony is not lost on me of "the little jewish girl" providing the voiceover for a christmas display.

darby asked me today why i do this, this self-involved ego-driven crapfest of text, which he did not refer to it as but was certainly thinking. and i replied that i do it to remember things that i would otherwise forget. the mundane things, like what that $19 charge on 11/17 on my credit card was for (that happened about an hour ago), and those rare moments when i feel comfortable with who i am and what i'm doing and the things around me.

i am very forgetful, and jill calls me leonard, and it's hard to remember what i'm doing here when i suspect i never knew in the first place.

i'll try to be better at this. there has to be a paradigm shift in me somewhere, somehow.

<Iron_Chef> gwen needs implants already
<Iron_Chef> who is she trying to fool
<ziggy> its sad
<ziggy> she's hot
<mahn> yeah
<ziggy> she;s rich
<ziggy> she deserves a nice rack

"santa who?"
posted at 10:13 PM

5a doze til 9a after listening to coast to coast am theorize about numerology and the death of george harrison. hmm.

i am tired. i do not appear to have any work to do today. i'll do nba trivia instead and get ahead of the game. because i must redeem myself. i will redeem myself.

now it can be told: up in new hampshire? yeah, i was betatesting ginger. i signed that nda but now that deanerino has been on gma talking her up like she's a high class hooer, i figure i can spill the beans.

oppsie1: it'll be that goddamn scooter craze all over again
JamesMorrow123: yeah but this is self-propelled
JamesMorrow123: far far far far far far far far far better
oppsie1: diane: "they say it's better than sneakers!"
JamesMorrow123: (psycho killer, quest-ce que ce?)
oppsie1: . o 0 ( diane: "they say it's better than sex with mike nichols!" )
JamesMorrow123: HA
JamesMorrow123: HAHA
JamesMorrow123: HA HA HA HA
oppsie1: diane: "i'm going to have to ride it myself to see if it's true!"

posted at 11:45 AM

and i'm up now because why? because i finished harvey and the associated trivia, and i was falling asleep this afternoon except for the bass and so i drank a redbull, and then i met jill and allison at this terrible, terrible indian place near them that had the worst mulligatawny on this side of the pacific and also smelled evil, but that was okay because i wasn't hungry anyway, and then i was still tired so after dinner before we came uptown to my place i stopped at got a grande capp at starbucks. and jill used the bathroom ala mrscott. and there was discussion with a downstairs neighbor about james, and she has given up. feh.

we watched the last two survivor eps. that's the biggest elephant penis i've ever seen on tv. it amuses me to no end that the elephant had a hardon for frank.

and now i'm too tired to sleep, and i have a very special headache.

onward.
posted at 3:33 AM

landlord steve just called. i left him a message bitching about the noise sitch yesterday. we talked for a while about how volume is inversely proportional to intellect, and "shitheads". and steve told me he signed off on all the paperwork to get him out of the building and gave him a glowing recommendation. and that he would look for his number and call and bitch.

so ten minutes go by, and the music goes off and then comes back on lower than before. and my phone rings, and it is landlord steve, and he says he talked to him and the man said it was a special situation today and he had a death in the family, which sounds like a load of bull to me but who knows, and that he would keep it down.

i expect this to last no more than two hours, at which point i will leave another message for landlord steve.

oh, and i had an airplane dream. my cousin andrew had a small jet plane and my brother and i were in it and we were all running away or going somewhere, far away, like to another planet but not in outer space, and it was scary but fun, and then the engines died and we fell, and andrew tried to unstall them and get them going and he'd succeed for a few seconds every minute, but ultimately we fell. all the way down.
posted at 1:16 PM

[jameswatch2k]: i slept til 11a. woke up and heard low bass, thought maybe my note had indeed been heeded. ha. ha. ha. now it's on superloud, slight change in that it sounds like maybe he vaguely tried to minimize it and then gave up, and he is listening to how can i mend this broken heart? for the fifth time in a row.

gah.

i'm going to do some trivia, then shower.
posted at 12:11 PM

god that was FUCKING BALLS OUT AMAZING.

i got to the game with only a few minutes to spare before lockerrooms closed thanks to shitty subways.

i went down to the floor, and big ben was practicing free throws and stuff so i wouldn't have been able to talk to him anyway.

i found my seat, which was "visitors bench" on the sheet in the media room, which i assumed meant the mid-level press box sort of behind the bench but way up high.

the visitors bench is actually.. the visitors bench. as in, right next to. as in, perpendicular to, between the bench and the basket. as in, i was on the floor, at msg, with the kind of view spike lee pays thousands for. as in, the only people in front of me were photogs on the floor, not blocking my lines of sight.

as in, holy fucking shit.

and to make it even more amazing, the game was fucking great. swapping big leads, then down to the final minutes. nailbiter? hells yes.

the aftermath was a little less pretty. ben sat out almost the entire fourth quarter and either is a reticent guy normally or was just in a really pissy mood and refused to talk to anyone. so no quote from him. i did get quotes from michael curry and jon barry about him, though, so it's salvageable.

and now i'm home, and the rerun is on msg network, and i just saw myself on tv, and this was a crazy night. amazing night.

thanks, editor anna.

[jameswatch2k]: i left a note on his door on my way out. it read:

JAMES - PLEASE TURN YOUR STEREO OFF WHEN YOU GO OUT!!! ALSO, PLEASE TURN IT DOWN, PERIOD - MY DISHES AND FLOOR ARE SHAKING. THANKS.

now it's vaguely quiet. the note was gone when i got home. we'll see how this plays out.
posted at 12:51 AM

productive day already. at 8a james turned on his music, waking me up. and i am so fucking fed up and so badly need sleep after this week that i went down there, looking justoutofbed frightful, and rang his doorbell, and he answered it not in the robe but all dressed (?!), and i asked him to please keep it off til 10a, and he actually did it. then i verified press creds for tonight's knicks/pistons game after a huge paranoia attack that i wouldn't be able to find the right number to call for knicks pr or that my editor didn't call them in like she said she did and i wouldn't be able to go. but all is well, and come 8p, i'll be watching the pistons demolish the knickerbockers. yay.

and at 2p i meet morrow for tamales, and then we watch the sweet hereafter.

good news: i can breathe through my nose!
posted at 11:45 AM

so i came home and there were a bunch of hoods on my front stoop drinking hennessy out of dixie cups, and one of them offered me a cup as i was walking up the steps and i said "no thanks" and they had an suv with all the doors open, bumping hiphop at an obnoxious volume, and i got upstairs and i could feel the bass not from james but from the hoods, and i now cringe at any bass that is not my own, and so i set about calling the cops. to do this for a noise complaint, you have to know your precinct. i do not know my precinct. so i went to visit the nypd website to find out my precinct, and what do you know, there's no precinct map to be found. the nypd website sucks unless you know what precinct you are in, and i've never had any occasion too. or any motivation to. so i finally decide i'm going to try the 26th precinct and see if they're mine and if not who is, and i listen and it seems the music may have been lowered. i open up my window and look out into the street and what do i see but TWO COP CARS sitting downstairs, and a few seconds later they drive off and the music is gone. sometimes life cracks me up.

the nascar battle is ovah! we capped it off by imbibing some virginia nascar moonshine that rob brought back from a trip to a race. peach brandy. i did not go blind. it was fab.

but not as fab as JEWEL BAKO. morrow and i went tonight, 830p res, stayed til 11p, omakase at the bar, sake up the butt, sheer fucking bliss. better than the last time. better than the anything. there are just no words. the only way it could have been better was if my nose had not been all blocked up. but even so, it was infuckingcredible.

i pass out now.
posted at 12:43 AM