A story of active verbs

The jar of words sat on the counter top, just out of Billy's reach. A scratching noise came from the jar, and the blue porcelain shook visibly. No one had ever opened the jar, and Billy knew that he was not the first one to be curious. Billy also understood that he would be the only living being to look inside the jar of words.

Billy gathered his strength and leapt up to grab the jar. But Billy miscalculated and instead of grabbing it, he knocked it towards the kitchen floor. The jar fell, slowly arcing towards the white floor. Billy witnessed the impending crash with excitement and fear.

The jar bounced off Billy's left foot and crushed all five of his toes. Billy tried to yell, but the jar of words shattered at the same time, overpowering the sound of his yell with a giant sucking noise. The words swirled and gathered in a blue-yellow haze and formed a blue balled monkey.

"Today whirls forward BILLY! You've fucked with the god of words. Explain yourself." Long hairy monkey fingers poked Billy in his doughy six year old stomach.

Billy could only let out a whimper at the sight of the primate's blue testicles and shiny red penis. In fact, Billy could do little else but stare at the neon-like privates.

"Stop fucking around, kid and come up with a story quick, or I'll show you hours of infomercials on hair removal systems and make you eat sixteen pounds of cold head cheese." The word god pulled a white rubber glove out of the void, slipped it on it's right hand and began to lather it with Vaseline.

"Shhhhit.. I'll talk. It was my.. brother's idea, I swear. He told me he would give me all his allowance for a month if I told him what was inside the word jar." Billy spit all over the monkey's face in an effort to get his words out quicker.

Wiping away the spit, the arboreal guest looked carefully at Billy. Continuing his contemplation, he reached under his ass and shit into his gloved hand. Billy began to choke and stare. Jumping with a primate's grace, the monkey landed on Billy's shoulders, knocking him to the ground. Still looking thoughtful, the monkey shoved it's gloved fist into billy's throat, depositing the shit deep inside the boy's throat. Without blinking, the monkey forced Billy to swallow the feces.

"Now let's go teach this brother of yours a lesson." The monkey stepped back from the choking boy and pulled the soiled glove from his paw. The glove dropped on the white linoleum with a squish. The monkey then lifted Billy from the floor by his wrist.

Billy blinked, coughed up a chunk of poop onto the floor, and took the monkey's paw. Then he led the furry intruder down the hall to his big brother's room.

"KEEP OUT - DANGER" the large orange sign read. Billy turned the knob and entered his brother's room. Billy's brother lay on his bed, mouth open, Pier's Anthony book laying next to his open hand. "The newest Xanth book" the back proclaimed. The word jar genie let go of Billy's hand and walked over the the sleeping fourteen year old.

The monkey summoned a scalpel from the air and went to work. He opened the young boy's abdomen. Then he sliced the end of the large intestine off. Blue balls the doctor then deftly opened the boy's stomach, and sewed the end of the intestine into the new entrance in the stomach. Before Billy blinked, the agile paws had stitched his brother back up. There were only two drops of blood on the young boy's sheets.

"Let's see how many times your brother can digest his own shit!" The word genie seized it's shiny red penis, grabbed and disappeared into a blue mist.

Billy ran into the kitchen, and there on the counter was the word jar, unbroken in all it's glory. Billy's stomach churned and he vomited monkey shit all over his kitchen floor.